Larissa Explains It All...

Today I love Bekah

2012-02-02T15:22:00.000-07:00

I realize I may be getting myself into quite the little quandary if I don't mention ALL the people I love, so I may have to get creative towards the end of the month. Just know you all know who you are:-)

Today I love Bekah.

We met in the summer of 2010 when were in a production of Bye Bye Birdie together - she as Rosie and me as Kim. Oh the irony that I am 5+ years older than her and her character was 10 or so years older than the one I was playing. These things make me giggle.

She helped make my experience that summer a total dream-come-true through all of her support and encouragement. She helped me learn to believe in myself and in sharing my talents. One perfect summer evening, after a little preview performance in the park, we saw Toy Story 3, stayed up late giggling about boys, and had a little sleepover at her place...the bond was sealed:-)

I don't get to see Bekah so often these days, but she always checks in with me and we keep each other posted about all the goings-on in our lives. You know how sometimes there is a person whom you see that, without a word, they make you smile all over? She is a symbol of so many wonderful things that happened in my "perfect summer." When I think, "Bekah," I hear her beautiful laughter. Even better, she is always up for giving me sagely and timely advice and letting me know she loves me.

I love you, Bekah!

February, The Month of Love: Today I Love Shayla

2012-02-01T17:55:00.006-07:00

In honor of Valentine's month, I'm going to spread the love each and every day of February. We could all use some more warm fuzzies in this dark, cold winter month.

I am going to kick off with the person on my mind most today - Shayla.

I wish the words, "I love you," could sum up everything I feel in my heart for this girl.

You know the people you meet and you just know you will be friends forever? I remember chatting with her over homemade salsa and then a few months later whilst sipping hot chocolate at a Christmas event when she first started her long journey into fitness - and I knew, I just knew she'd be around for a long, long time.

She is the one who runs to my aid at the slightest hint I need help. The one who drops off a gift certificate for my favorite food stuffs because she knows I had a bad day. The one who mailed me a gift certificate for my favorite New York City Bakery right before my last trip. The one who will go on random Las Vegas, New York, and Alaska trips with me. She inspired and referred me to work with the nutrition program that changed my life a couple of years ago. She came with darling Blake all the way to Brigham City to rescue me off the side of the road.

Shayla is this gal and so much more. She lets me know of the important events in her life, so I can return the marvelous gift that is our friendship. I love that we balance each other out in the give and take. Not only is she entirely selfless, she helps me be more so myself.

Shayla, I love you:-)

Dates: When you Reject One

2012-02-01T05:34:00.002-07:00

I have this little philosophy.

Always accept a first date unless you know a relationship would never develop.

Pretty simple, right?

Yet, the jury is out on this one. I've heard two other philosophy's that friends try to convince me of:

1. Always accept a first date.
2. Never accept a first date unless you know a relationship could develop.

I am also often mistaken for much younger than my rickety ole truth. My circumstances in life and my situation are in a different world than, say, a 23-year old. That does not mean I write them off, I do try to give each a chance. But let's say you are in your second year of college, live with your parents, have no job, have no vehicle, and still have the bright and dewy deer-in-the-headlights eyes looking at the "big, grown up world." We, most likely, are not ever going to have a relationship. More severe is someone in that situation over the age of 25. Do I accept a date invitation? Do I let him spend his hard-earned few dollars (or allowance) on me?

One man friend of mine argues that a man isn't necessarily interested in a romantic relationship when he first asks on a date, simply in getting to know the young lady better. I see the point. But I asked this of the same man friend: He is a sweetheart, but I'd interacted with him enough already to know we weren't the best matches for each other. YES, I did judge based off of "position in life." YES, I did judge based off of aesthetics. The sum of the parts makes the whole right? Do guys like it better if a girl "just gives me a chance." Or do they prefer to not waste their time on a first date? Because I am fully prepared to go on every first date extended if you honestly believe it really is better to go on one date even if you know it isn't going anywhere. I mean, if there are three strikes in my head before I even go out with the guy, why do it?

He responded: "...The one time I've actually been turned down for a first date, even though the girl's excuse was likely legitimate, crushed my fragile little ego. Of course I got over it, went out there again...Dating is SUPPOSED to be about making personal connections with people, that MAYBE evolve into romance. I think so many of us focus on the latter part of that process, though, that we forget about the FORMER. Was this guy interested in making you his "sweetie pie" right off, or did he just want to get to know you better? I know a lot of guys go into a first date hoping to start a long-term dating relationship with a girl, but I don't know that everyone does on EVERY date. All I can say is that I understand your reasons for saying "no," I know how much it sucks to get turned down, and, as a culture, we take the first date WAY too seriously."

I don't take a first date seriously, truthfully (I wait til date three of four before I start truly wondering about the future), but if I know (c'mon, when you know, you know, right? We've all been there...) there is never a chance, should I go? If I am not physically attracted at all? If I find conversation awkward and pointless? If I'd have to be his sugar momma?

Jury? Verdict?

Asking For Help

2012-01-31T13:19:00.000-07:00

I hate asking for help.

When I finally bring myself to ask, I have some cutesy little act all worked up just so it seems like it is some whimsical request I am making whilst batting my eyelashes. Why must I feel compelled to do this?

I love helping others.

Double standard, much?

How could I ever do the thing I love in helping others if no one ever asked?

My friend pointed out to me last night, "Larissa, people want to help. Give them the opportunity. Let them."

I've made a talent out of waiting so long to ask for help that I'm about to burst with emotion or dirty laundry. Real dirty laundry. I waited almost two weeks before asking for help fixing my dryer. Most of the time I throw in edible bribes or cash money to try and justify my helplessness. I'm so afraid people will see me as helpless. But why? I am a strong, independent young lady and have managed to keep myself alive without too many bumbles up to this point.

How many times has someone offered to help me with something and I never take them up on it lest they see me as a burden? Someone please kick me in the head to knock some sense into me.

Another friend told me, "You know, the more you let people serve you, the more they love you. The more you serve them, the more you love them."

So true. I'm going to work on this. Are you? (Cause I'm getting my carpets cleaned on Thursday and may need some help Wednesday night moving around furniture thrice my size...)

Leftover Dates

2012-01-28T07:37:00.000-07:00

I love food. Love.

The thing is, I just can't eat much of it. Like last Saturday, for instance - I went out for The Pie pizza and guess who only ate one piece before declaring she was so full she was gonna pop? I seriously disappoint myself sometimes. I had such ambitions - four pieces and a cookie from Smart Cookie.

I digress. I'm always up for yummy food. But what to do with the leftovers when I'm not typically a huge leftovers fan? And how many times do I just want a bite or two of a cookie or some other sweet treat, but don't want to waste the rest?

This is where a man friend comes into play. Men, you date me, you get to eat wherever you want and get at least half of my meal too. I'm a bargain, fellas!

Come and get it!

The Spitfire Grill: Empress Theatre

2012-01-27T11:51:00.005-07:00

Time for another Empress show! Seems like I always end up at the Empress, doesn't it? I have to tell you, I love the tight-knit community feel of the place. Every time I go, I am surprisingly greeted by name and escorted to my seat - after only having done one show there two years ago. Oh that all theaters gave such VIP treatment. I also always end up having friends in their productions and you all know how I mostly go see shows to support my amazingly talented comrades.

Enter Kristen Fox. She's the most spitfire character at The Spitfire Grill.

But back it up. You are probably wondering what this show is even about, right? I consider myself a Broadway aficionado and had never seen this one. Basically, an ex-con starts life anew in the town of Gillead, which is so small there is only one place to eat - The Spitfire Grill. Eventually, the townsfolk decide to sell off the Grill to the winner of an essay contest with an entrance fee of $100. Not the most exciting plot or the most exciting music, but such a sweet, backwoods, folksy feel.

Back to Kristen. And all the other actors and actresses. Of course, I love Kristen's character, Effy, because of the sassy, town-gossip, outspoken zaniness of her. My favorite scene was probably when she demanded to know some information, the other characters teased her, and she let out this high-pitched squeal/scream before stomping her foot and dramatically exiting the stage. Love.

And can I tell you how much I adored the live accompaniment? Especially the fiddle? Hats off, Eric Barney. Wow. The entire show, he just kept playing and playing. Dare I say it, but I think that fiddle sets the atmosphere for the entire show over and over again.

You know what else I loved? Every. Single. Person. There was not a weak link among them. Not a missed note. Not a squeak. Harmonies bound so tightly even Chuck Norris would be jealous. If there is anything you don't like about the show, it will not be the fault of these performers, trust me, but rather the fault of the actual, somewhat-slow script or the repetitive composition. I cannot say enough about the musical skills of these performers - they deserve to be seen.

Lest I forget someone, your talented cast is:
Percy Talbott: Brittany Boynton
Hannah Ferguson: Mia Detton
Shelby Thorpe: Lindsay Boucher
Caleb Thorpe: Shawn Maxfield
Sheriff Joe Sutter: Jacob Clark
Effy Krayneck: Kristen Fox
The Visitor: Mason Heywood

I cannot write this without giving huge accolades to Shawn Maxfield for blowing the roof off the place in a show-stopping ballad. I've seen him perform several times. Heck, I performed with him for over six weeks. And this performance is, in my opinion, the pinnacle of which I have seen him. W.O.W. One more mention - Brittany Boynton's change-of-heart ballad towards the show's end will also widen your eyes and have you thinking, "Daaaang. Girl can sing."

You can catch the show at The Empress Theatre on Fridays, Saturdays, and Mondays now through February 11. The weather outside is frightful, but The Spitfire Grill's delightful - so as long as the winter snows, see a show, see a show, see a show (like this one)!

Buy tickets here.

Breakfast in Bed

2012-01-27T04:47:00.000-07:00

I don't get it.

You may hear, "breakfast in bed," and think about relaxing on a sunny morning with your loved ones giggling at your side.

But I just think about crumbs in my bed, how I'd have to get out of bed to go to the restroom anyway, how I'd been laying there for 6-8 hours and don't want butt rot, how I'd feel so lazy and slimy, how I probably shouldn't be eating whatever it is, how I'd need to brush my teeth, how I'd probably have to clean up whatever mess was made in the kitchen...you get the point.

I just don't get the concept of breakfast in bed other than it being a service opportunity to show someone you love them (although I'd much prefer other methods). I know that generally the population looks at this as a wonderful luxury...it just isn't for me.

How do you feel about crumbs in your bed while you chew calorie-laden food with your fuzzy teeth and greasy face? In other words, how do you feel about breakfast in bed?

Gleeful Love

2012-01-25T13:37:00.000-07:00

I caught a few minutes of Glee the other night, something I rarely do anymore.

Mr. Schuester proposed to Emma. Yes, Emma of the obsessive compulsive germaphobia.

Emotions and thoughts came flooding to me. I recently have been worried a bit too much about my flaws, more importantly, that the people I want to embrace me most will reject me because of those flaws.

But I look at Mr. Schue and crazy, crazy Emma. He loves her. He loves her unconditionally, intensely, in spite of and because of all of her flaws. They both know they will have to work incredibly hard to make it work, yet they proceed with faith.

Mr. Schue has it right - I want a Schue & Emma kinda love.

City Deals: The End of our Relationship

2012-01-25T05:17:00.000-07:00

I have been an advocate of, and a faithful, loyal customer to CityDeals.com.

You all know I'm a frugal spendthrift most of the time (darned Anthropologie).

But I've had enough.*

Late last summer, something went down with their business practices (rumor is they were not paying their vendors) and the company went dark for a few days. Upon relaunch, many of the vendors who were selling discounted vouchers through them would no longer accept the vouchers. My beloved Smart Cookie was one of them. I had 3 vouchers that I held onto, waiting and waiting to see if they would eventually accept them. Nope. So I returned them. And this exchange ensued:

From: customerservice@citydeals.com
Date: Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:42:53 -0700
Subject: Return for Smart Cookie certificates
To: X

Larissa,
We have processed a return for your Smart Cookie gift certificates for $15.75. This may be used toward future CityDeal purchases.
Dennis
CityDeals Customer Service

On Mon, Jan 23, 2012 at 3:05 PM, X wrote:
Thank you so much!
I did have a question/concern.
The only reason I had to return these is because of the fiasco back at the end of the year - I'm not sure the details behind it, but I do know the company went dark for a few days and some of the merchants no longer accepted the certificates.
So, not only did I not get to use my certificates, your website stated these had to be sent via trackable mail. I went to the post office and discovered that it would cost me $3.29 for the very cheapest method of trackable mail.
I was very concerned about this because I was returning a product because the company failed me and then I ended up being in the hole because of it.
Is there anything CityDeals is doing for customers in this situation? Like putting a $3.29 credit on the account?
It isn't the end of the world and I know that the customer service rep answering this e-mail is in no way responsible for this, I just thought I'd ask.
Thanks!
Larissa

From: customerservice@citydeals.com
Date: Mon, 23 Jan 2012 15:12:58 -0700
Subject: Re: Return for Smart Cookie certificates
To: X

Larissa,
Unfortunately, we cannot issue returns either for certified mail costs or for .99 for shipping which is charged when certificates are mailed out. We merely suggest that for customer's protection in the case the mail should be lost. Or you would be more than welcome to drop the form and certificates off at our office in Draper.
Dennis
CityDeals Customer Service

I will never again be using CityDeals after I use my credit (don't want to lose even MORE money by not using the credit).
A large part of my job is customer service and I know the way CityDeals is practicing is abhorrent. They are making their customers, the ones who keep them afloat, pay for their mistakes.

Maybe it is only $3.29. But it wasn't just that. It was forty-five minutes of my time filling out forms and driving to the Post Office and standing in line and the gas money to do so. The least they should do is put a $3.29 credit on my account. If this were one of my customers, I'd give them an entirely free product for the inconvenience - and I would, I do this every day.

What good is a great deal if they make you pay for their bad business practices in the end?

Long Live Groupon!

* I realize good people would lose their jobs if CityDeals went under, I don't want them to go out of business, I just want them to change their business practices.

Potty Training Updates

2012-01-23T17:57:00.000-07:00

What is it with the recent onslaught of everyone updating the world on the progress of their child's potty training?

I am sure this is very exciting, but I do not need to know your child has started pooping in the potty or has been wearing real panties for two days without an accident. And, so you all know, I can't write "panties" without cringing a little.

What gives? Or are you all thinking, "Oh you'll understand if you are ever a parent..."

Somebody's Child

2012-01-22T05:47:00.000-07:00

I've only ever been somebody's child.

I've never been a spouse.

I've never been a parent.

Aren't those these the things that make us feel like adults? Marriage, children of your own? Maybe even purchasing a home or having your own business would work.

I am an adult, but certainly don't feel like one. I've known no other role for my life than that of being someone's child. I am a nurturer, a loyal friend, a devout manager/employee, a pet adopter, a condo-of-my-own dweller...and yet none of these things give me that, "I'm a grown up" feeling. Sometimes I even get that tickle inside that I'm playing house and fooling everyone.

Other singles out there - do you feel grown up?
Married friends - do you feel grown up?
When did this realization hit you?

Baby Riss

Want to Win a Free Kindle?!

2012-01-21T05:57:00.000-07:00

Want to win a free Kindle?

Stephanie Fowers is many things to me - a dear friend, an old roommate, a partner-in-crime, an adventurer extraordinaire, and most importantly for this post, an entertaining author to boot.

Her first two books (Rules of Engagement and Meet Your Match) chronicle some real-life adventures we had when living together, so naturally she selected me as one of her judges for this little contest in honor of her latest book launch.

Check out Stephanie and her contest. Check out Prank Wars. You won't regret it!
(and you'll also find out way too much dirt on my former ways in the Provo days)

Relationship Anchovies

2012-01-20T07:53:00.001-07:00

To each person, there is a different level of "tolerable" in relationships.

Imagine this: I give you your favorite cheesy, delicious, ginormous pizza, but tell you that I have to put one anchovy on it and that you have to eat it, or you get no pizza at all.

Would that ruin the whole pizza for you? Would you still want it?

For me, the anchovy would ruin the whole pizza and I definitely would not want it. I'd search for someone else's pizza that had a habenero pepper or something I could tolerate.

Just because you can't tolerate the imperfections of one does not mean you won't be able to tolerate the imperfections of another. And vice-versa - there is always someone who will embrace you, anchovies and all. Heck, there is probably someone out there who will see your anchovy as a bonus goodie.

Claiming Your Territory: Defining the Relationship

2012-01-18T05:57:00.002-07:00

When you are dating someone, do you feel the need to have a definitive conversation regarding the status of your relationship?

I've heard some say that a conversation never needs to happen, that if you are both mature adults who are clearly only dating each other and being physically affectionate with each other, then there is no question - you are together. If you have been introduced to family and friends, with affection displayed, then that is a particularly clear sign - you are together.

I've heard some say that you do need to have a definitive conversation where you "claim them as your own." They say this conversation provides peace of mind and security, clearing up any uncertainty, eliminating the awkwardness when another man/woman (or four) approach you for your phone number, pseudo-dates, or actual dates. There is also the question that all well-intentioned people ask, "So is he/she your boyfriend/girlfriend?"

What do you think? Is this a conversation you should or should not have? Why?

She's Not Into Me? Impossible!

2012-01-17T10:21:00.001-07:00

Have you all seen 500 Days of Summer?
If not, go run and do it...now.

Why is it that when a guy tells a girl "We're just friends," the girl must accept that and move on, lest she be deemed too emotional or clingy, but when a girl says that to a man, the man actually hears, "We're just friends unless..."? I mean, of course we are just kidding, right? Of course we'll come around, right?

Men, we are not kidding. We are not waiting for some sign. I know there are exceptions to this rule, but for the most part, when we say, in a serious heart-to-heart, that we are "just friends," we mean exactly what we said. If we continue to want to spend time with you? That is because you are a friend.

A persistent girl is looked at as psycho and men run like she's some diseased plague. But a persistent man is constantly encouraged to keep going after the girl, no matter what she says, and if she rejects him, well that's just her problem. What the?

I want to grab them both and say, "Honey, he/she is just not that into you. Move on. Either be friends or don't. But move on." I actually have said this a few times fortunately/unfortunately.

How do you feel about this? Do you think pushy girls are punished whilst pushy men are encouraged? Do you believe girls when they say they want to be just friends?

Marriage and The Gospel

2012-01-16T14:22:00.000-07:00

“Why should neurotic, selfish, immature people suddenly become angels when they fall in love ... ?” - Denis de Rougemont

"Raw, natural talent does not enable you to play baseball as a pro or write great literature without enduring discipline and enormous work. Why would it be easy to live lovingly and well with another human being in light of what is profoundly wrong within our human nature?" - Timothy Keller

"The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the Gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The Gospel is—we are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared to believe, and at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope. This is the only kind of relationship that will really transform us. Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it. God’s saving love in Christ, however, is marked by both radical truthfulness about who we are and yet also radical, unconditional commitment to us. The merciful commitment strengthens us to see the truth about ourselves and repent. The conviction and repentance moves us to cling to and rest in God’s mercy and grace." - Timothy Keller

These are some of the most beautiful truths I have read regarding marriage - you can find the entire article here.

Hope

2012-01-13T11:48:00.000-07:00

I have shared this thought recently with someone very dear to me and also a darling blog reader. I honestly cannot get this out of my head, which means to me that someone else needs to hear it. So I share.

The ever-spiritual and sweetheart Sharon, a friend from church, asked me to think of something I really, really want this year. She then said to think about that thing in application to this quote:

"Hope is an abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promises to you. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance. It is believing and expecting that something will occur. When you have hope, you work through trials and difficulties with the confidence and assurance that all things will work together for your good. Hope helps you conquer discouragement." - Preach My Gospel p. 117.

I absolutely love this quote. I've always felt this way about life, but could never quite pinpoint the words. I could let discouragement get me down for not being or having everything I've ever dreamed of, but I know the Lord has made promises to me that He will keep...promises for His dreams for my life and the greater purpose therein. I know He is directing my paths, even when I haven't a clue what's going on. At times I have longed that He could hold me in His arms and comfort me, and those times are when I have felt on overwhelming spiritual assurance and warmth that He is there with me. I trust in the Lord. My hope for my life rests in knowing that He will fulfill these promises. I can move forward each day with optimism, enthusiasm and patience because I know it will all work out.

Home for the Holidays

2012-01-10T12:03:00.000-07:00

I had a lot of adventures while I was home for the holidays.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so I'll spare you the details and just show you the fun:-)


This is my FAVORITE of our family photos, I call this, "Andy discovers cat hair ALL over his suit after touching the curtains." The looks of genuine shock on all of our faces are priceless. Zoom in. Totally worth it.

Skyline Chili makes my heart pitter patter!

Mom needs a bib when she eats at Skyline. Yep, the manager came up and offered her one, not the 7-year old. And then he tied it on for her. Precious.

Together, at last, it's Skyline Time!

Yep, that's my dad. In his workout clothes. Before Sunrise. I have a love/hate relationship with getting up before dawn to go workout with him, but seeing an outfit like this makes it all worth it, right?

We met in Tiffin (half way between Lorain and Piqua) to have lunch with my Grandma Betty and Uncle John.

Everyone loves some Grandma Betty. Did you know I'm her namesake?

Go ahead - zoom in and read what Uncle John's shirt says. And that is why my sense of humor was destined to be...well...what it is...or isn't...

My nephew Max! I don't deserve all the unconditional love this little boy gives me!

What a troupe.

Sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters...

Past Year's Resolutions: 2011

2012-01-04T17:05:00.002-07:00

When one sets a goal, it has to be something thought long and hard about, something desired with all the heart and soul - not something you do just because someone tells you you should at a certain time of year.

For this reason, setting New Year's Resolutions proves to be a little difficult for me. I actually don't do it. I set a goal when I know the time is right. And don't resolutions wreak with the stench of negative stigma? I don't want any kind of negativity attached to goals that are important enough for me to make.

If I had set resolutions for myself in 2011, and they looked something like the list below, I would not have disappointed myself.

1. Win Employee of the Year with an extremely demanding company which has never before done an "Employee of..." anything award.

2. Earn and Perform the leading role in a musical - receiving the final bow at curtain call, also providing a strange sense of closure with my performing adventures.

3. Visit home (Ohio) more than once.

4. Maintain my six-days-per-week dates with Gym.

5. Maintain within 5-7 pounds of my finishing weight when I worked with a nutritionist two years ago.

6. Organize a trip to New York City with friends I did not know the year prior.

7. Add X amount to my savings (even through developing an insane and insatiable love for Anthropologie).

8. Continue to blog regularly.

9. Speak in church three times. (Seriously, what did I do wrong?...or right I guess...)

10. Learn to love more unconditionally - realizing sometimes you must hold tighter and sometimes you must let go.

11. Be part of a radio show.

*Bonus* Have my larger-than-life photo plastered on the sides of buses, bus stops, buildings, and most importantly - The Capitol Theater! (the theater for touring Broadway productions, operas, and ballets in downtown Salt Lake City)

Past editions:
2008
2009
2010

Resolutioners

2012-01-03T17:05:00.003-07:00

The "Resolutioners."

That's what I call them. Who? The people at the gym during January, trickling off in February, mostly entirely evaporated by March.

I love dedication to fitness. Almost nothing is more attractive to me. I love knowing that millions of people re-dedicate themselves each year and I am happy to know these people care enough about themselves and their families to do so.

What I don't love? They take over my gym. My gym. They use him and then lose him. I'm fine if they form a committed and long-term bond with Gym, but most don't. Most just tease him with all that hot and sweaty business, making him think they love him back until one day they vanish. Sure, they pay him off a little every month to console him for the loss, but Gym's language of love is Quality Time. Little do they know that he will show his ultimate revenge when one day they wake up and all those pounds are back and they are once again out of breath trekking up the stairs.

Resolutioners, to thee I plea - stick with it for yourself and for Gym. Cause otherwise, you just majorly inconvenience my life for a few months.

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve

2011-12-30T05:57:00.000-07:00

I have always had a geek crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt since my days as an alien-loving Third Rock From the Sun fan. I know, I know, I probably shouldn't admit that, but I'm going to own it.

I have found my ultimate geek crush fantasy. Two of my favorite people singing one of my favorite holiday ditties. I'd really love to one year be able to send this song to the apple of my eye, see his "you are a nut" smile, have him call me a dork, and then hear his really clever answer - something so clever I can't imagine yet what it would be. Yeah, something else I probably shouldn't admit:-)

Which leads me to ask - what are you doing New Year's Eve?

Flat Tired in Provo's White Christmas

2011-12-29T06:04:00.001-07:00

I love the movie White Christmas. But you know what I love more than the movie? The stage production!

BYU put on an absolutely stellar performance of this show and you may remember I made the trek to P-town to enjoy it.

What I didn't enjoy was getting a flat tire. My southern gentleman friend (don't anyone go getting excited, I said friend for a reason) and I pulled into the law building parking lot only to see a semi-flat tire. By the time we got our Creamery ice cream and headed to the Fine Arts Center, the tire was totally flat. Boo. Luckily, my friend and car efficienado, Andrew, lives in Provo and he came and fixed us up with the donut while we enjoyed the show. Monday morning I headed to Big-O for a free flat fix. I like free much more than I like flat tires.

I suppose a flat tire is not of much consequence to most people, but this is only the second of my life - quite noteworthy for me. How many flat tires have you had?

Pay no attention to the embarrassingly dirty car...

Eating Christmas Trees

2011-12-28T05:57:00.000-07:00

My little Conor girl enjoys helping me decorate for Christmas.
When she is finished, she likes to eat the Christmas tree. Maybe not so much eat as chew on.
Gross.

Coke Freestyle

2011-12-27T05:54:00.004-07:00

Have you ever seen a Coke Freestyle machine?

I love these!

Long story short, I once upon a time dated a man who wouldn't let me have soda. I never even liked soda. Heck, I drink about a gallon of water (or more) per day. But when he and I broke up, I decided soda was for me. Unfortunately, I've never gone back. I still drink a gallon of water a day, don't worry!

Anyway - Coke Freestyle lets you create over 100 combinations of your favorite flavors of sodas, all using a futuristic touch screen. Sold. My favorite, in case you are wondering, is Raspberry Diet Coke.

I'm so smitten, I try to get all my friends to try it too. Last month, Dallas and I went to Noodles and Company for a little catch-up chat and I introduced him to my love. We stayed so long that the restaurant gifted us free rice crispy treats as big as my face. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Concentrating so hard...decisions, decisions

David Archuletta: Missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

2011-12-26T07:08:00.000-07:00

I cannot get enough of this adorable young man. He grew up as the neighbor of one of my dear friends and even she has nothing but glowing reports of him. I've only met him once, but I am so proud this young man belongs to the same church I do. I think the entire LDS community feels this parental pride in the choices he is making.

Watch the video to hear his big announcement.

Christmas To-Do List

2011-12-25T04:37:00.003-07:00

“This year, mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. Write a letter. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in word and deed. Keep a promise. Forgo a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Apologize. Try to understand. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Be kind. Be gentle. Laugh a little more. Express your gratitude. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love and then speak it again.”
― Howard W. Hunter

Sitting On Santa's Lap

2011-12-24T06:52:00.001-07:00

How old is too old to sit upon Santa's knee?

I don't worry about the answer to these types of questions when I see an authentic-looking jolly old Saint Nicholas. I just smile and tell Santa my Christmas wishes.

This year, Megs and I went to This is the Place for their Candlelight Christmas celebration. On our way out, they asked if we wanted to talk to Father Christmas. YES! Megs was a little more hesitant than I, but my excitement was utterly contagious and she gave in:-) Father Christmas never got around to asking me what I wanted, he was more interested in where I graduated (BYU is the right answer, apparently) and what I was doing with my life. I'm glad Santa is a supporter of education. He clearly got around to asking Megs her wishes, as you can see the wheels in her brain turning in her photo.

The best part may just have been that they thought we were sisters who were sending our photos home to our parents in Ohio. Precious:-)

I love Santa. Do you?

What the Dickens?

2011-12-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

Karen and Daniel and I decided to venture to The Dickens Festival at the Utah State Fairgrounds to support our friend Amber who was playing the Ghost of Christmas Past in their production of A Christmas Carol. I had several other friends - Megan Tholen, Chris Kennedy, etc. - who were part of this event, so that triply worked out for me.

The festival is fun, although it really isn't as "Old English" as you'd expect. I felt bamboozled the first time I went. Labeling a vendor's booth "Ye Olde Purse Shoppe" does not make it more authentically old English. Daniel was happy just to have his turkey leg, Karen was happy to be supporting her friends, and I was happy just for the thrill of it all.

The thing that really got to me about our little trip was the Ghost of Christmas Future. I don't know what it was about this thing, but it gave me the goose flesh. I snapped a picture of it going down stairs. My best guess is that it is a man on stilts, wearing a skeleton mask and long skeletal fingers. The photo below is at a funny angle, but creepy ghost man is truly feet taller than the woman next to him. The bewildered looks on the faces of the people coming up those stairs? Yeah, genuine. And I would have been turning around and running the other direction. Seriously creeped be right out.

What the Dickens?!

So super creepy

Brings a whole new meaning to "Looking at a woman like a piece of meat." Don't mess with Daniel and his Turkey Legs.

5th Annual "A Christmas Story" Pajama Party

2011-12-22T06:17:00.001-07:00

Saturday the 10th was my 5th annual A Christmas Story pajama party. And boy was it a hit!

The day before the event, I received a distressed call from my co-host, whose home at which we were having the soiree. His grandmother had passed away and his entire family was coming into town. There is no way you can predict this kind of tragedy and I reassured him that I'd figure it out and not to worry. Enter Jacob. He, upon hearing of my situation, gladly offered his home up and baked brownies. Really, there is no way to repay someone for such a kind, selfless act.

I think the photos speak for themselves, way too much sugar, way too many pizzas, definitely not way too many friends. All the people I love were in and out with such frequency that I had no time to take pictures once the guests started arriving. Too bad, my red polka-dot PJs were adorable:-)

Buying Christmas gifts for people is a little overwhelming these days, so with the exception of a few, in place of buying gifts, I throw this party and feed everyone. Clever, no?

Some have asked, "Why A Christmas Story?"

Because I grew up watching that movie with my family at Christmas time. Because it is hilarious. Because it was filmed in Cleveland very near to where my mother grew up and to where I spent most of my Christmases. Because it is absurd. Because it has a leg lamp. I argue it does not get much better than such.

I hope each of your Christmas stories are just as wonderful this holiday season!

Wrong Number

2011-12-21T05:14:00.001-07:00

Does anyone even listen to voicemail messages anymore? I don't mean the ones you leave on others' phones, but when you call a phone and hear their voicemail before you leave a message. Do you listen to those?

Clearly there are a couple of people out there whose friends don't. Those same people don't know their cell phone numbers. How do I know? Their friends keep calling me. They keep leaving really personal messages regarding health issues and work schedules and patients and church duties. What part of a little boy saying, "Please leave a message for Aunt Rissy" do you not understand?

I have received so many wrong number calls that I have changed my voicemail message to state my full name very clearly, then say, "Again, you have reached..." But I'm wondering if it will work. After all, "Aunt Rissy" sounded nothing like the name of the people they were calling and leaving messages for.*

What say you? If you call a phone and the message states a different name than who you think you are calling, do you still leave a message?

*I have started texting these folks and letting them know they have a wrong number.

Curly Hair

2011-12-20T05:57:00.002-07:00

I have naturally wavy hair. This has meant that I can style my hair however I would like and it obeys, but it has to be styled straight or curly or frizzed or whatever it is. Left to its own vices, you get this weird hybrid of curly, straight, wavy, frizzy, smooth - it is strange to say the least, but very pony-tail friendly.

In all of my performing years, I've had to curl these hairs hundreds of times. Hot'n'Steamy steam curlers have been there through it all with me. As of late, they curlers have fallen apart to say the least. But my days of curly hair are not numbered.

Because of the dirty-sounding name (yeah, you know you thought it), I daren't Google the brand of curlers I'd been utilizing, but I did manage to find replacements under the Caruso brand.

In honor of all of the time these curlers dedicated to making sure I never straightened out my life, I took a memorial photo.

May they rest in peace.

Employee of the Year!

2011-12-19T12:12:00.003-07:00

I don't talk about work much.

In my life, there is a need to keep a divide between work life and personal life. Work is busy, stressful, chaotic, and fulfilling, and I'm the type of personality who will not be able to stop working unless I force separation. Sometimes, I tell friends how busy I am and I think a couple of them think I am fibbing because I'm so happy and bubbly and carefree outside of work. I mean, how is a person like that so nose-to-the-grindstone professionally?

Today, I'm going to talk about work and I'm going to let you in on something.

Every year, my company of about 80 internal employees and 20ish remote, does a little Christmas potluck where we eat, play games, and get a little envelope with some Christmas cash. This year, in our November company meeting, our CEO announced that we would be doing an "employee of the year" award for the first time, awarding the winner an iPad2 3G. My company has a remarkable ability to run at maximum output with a minimal amount of employees - every single person at this company is above and beyond average. In spite of much office chatter, no one had a clue who the winner would be.

Friday was our holiday party. We began by playing a game where you had to guess Christmas songs based on strange titles, "I am pontificating of a colorless holiday" would be, "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas." English minor that I am, I rocked it - winning a back massage thing. Next, we played a game where you fold a piece of paper in half behind your back and try to rip out a Christmas tree. As terribly non-crafty as I am, I rocked that one too and ended up with a holiday mug full of taffy.

When all was said and done, our second-in-command began sharing with us the details of "Employee of the Year" on behalf of the CEO. He shared that the CEO feels several people in the office are deserving of the accolades, therefore, we had a list of finalists. For each of the seven names that were announced, I thought, "Wow. Definitely! That person does so much with this company!" He shared the final nominee, "And for her work with our webinars, and for making the product blossom with tremendous growth and success, Larissa Villers." Can we talk about how excited I was just to have my name on that list?! I was grinning ear-to-ear as the blood rushed to my cheeks. I sat back to relax after that because I thought the fact that my name was even on the final list was the best award ever.

He was holding a blue Tiffany box for our runner up. I hooted and hollered for her, making note to stalk her and gush over her necklace.

Then it happened.

"And our Employee of the Year is Larissa Villers."

!?!?!

I never saw that coming. Not a million miles away. Every single person in our company works their tails off and anyone could have been awarded this honor and deserved it. I work quietly in my corner, running my events, making them successful financially, educationally, customer service-wise, etc. Everything typically runs so smoothly, I figured I mostly go unnoticed. I was wrong. Sometimes, I really enjoy being wrong.

I'm still floating around on cloud nine. Saturday I upgraded the iPad from 16GB to 32GB and my Apple nerd friend (shout out to Dallas!) has been helping me with all the set up and functionality.

I am so excited, humbled, legitimized, and appreciative. Folks, hard work pays off!

Ignore the jammies, pay attention to the iPad and pure happiness...

Fools

2011-12-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving."
- Dale Carnegie

Guest Blogger: Kids Say the Darndest Things

2011-12-15T13:17:00.002-07:00

Today, I'd like to present to you the first of several guest-bloggers I hope to have here on Larissa Explains It All. My feisty, fast-paced, fantastic Keri has put together this hilarious "out of the mouths of babes" tale for you. What funny things have children in your life done?

The other day, while at my sister Skinny's house, I noticed there were six stockings hung by the chimney with care. I was puzzled by this, since there are only five in her family, so I asked her six-year-old about it.

"Chief, how come you have six stockings, when there are only five people in your family?"

He did the tiniest little gasp and then said, "My mom said I can't tell you. It's a secret."

Don't tell your six-year-old highly classified State Secrets

Reeaaaalllyy...

When I asked Skinny about this, she told me that she wasn't pregnant, and didn't know why he had said that. She also said she'd had those stockings since before her youngest was born. I really have no way of knowing if Skinny is really pregnant, or if she's saving the surprise for Christmas. But either way, I thought it was funny that Chief has possibly inadvertently told me a secret, by trying really hard NOT to tell me.

That reminded me of some other funny things told by kids to adults. When Skinny was about 5 or 6, our mom was a single mom. One day during church, several friends had mentioned that their mothers were going to have babies. Naturally, Skinny announced that her own mother was also going to have a baby.

This caused a lot of talk amongst the ladies of the church. Skinny's gossipy Primary teacher went up to our mom to "congratulate" her (really trying to find out the scoop on how my SINGLE mom had gotten pregnant). Mom was mortified, and had to explain that she was indeed not pregnant.

When Spitfire was about three, we went to Sea World in San Diego. We decided to pay the extra money to feed fish to the dolphins and pet them in the tank. One of the dolphins had a missing eye - it was just an empty socket.

Just under my arm you can see his eye socket

When we got home from our trip, Spitfire was telling Grandma about feeding the dolphins. She told her, "Mommy poked the dolphin's eye out!"*

WHAT!? Where did she come up with that? I didn't do JACK SQUAT to the dolphin's eye! I have no idea why she would say such a thing! I am still baffled by it to this day.

This is not the missing eye-dolphin, but Spitfire was clearly traumatized by the whole incident. I think she was afraid of his scary-looking teeth

*I promise, that not NOW, nor have I EVER, poked a dolphin's eye out!

If you've enjoyed reading this guest post and want to read more about Keri's adventures as a traveler, a nurse, a musician, an actress, a runner, and a mom, please follow her at Living Vi-Keri-ously.

To Trust

2011-12-13T17:07:00.000-07:00

"Never trust a woman. More importantly, never trust a man."

A friend of mine posted this quote awhile back. While I understand the intent is humorous, it saddens my heart a little.

I like to think I am a very trustworthy woman. I also like to think that there is a man out there with whom I can trust my life. In fact, I know it.

Yes, my trust has been violated by men and women I love. I have been hurt to the point of wondering if I ever could trust again. Yet, we are all blessed with a remarkable capacity to love. We can choose to stay static, dwelling on the hurt and betrayal, or we can choose to move forward full of hope that we will be able to surround ourselves with those who will cherish us as we all deserve.

I think back on my days in gymnastics. I never would have progressed in my skills if I hadn't trusted my coach. He gave me all the little tips I needed to prepare and trust in myself as much as I could, but that first time he asked me to jump in the air and flip backwards at break-neck speed/height, I needed him. I could not do it alone and had to trust that he would be there to catch me if I fell. If I didn't trust, I never would have learned to do a back tuck. If I fell once and refused to try again? Same story - I never would have progressed.

We can do great things alone, but together we can accomplish so much more.

Trust. Be trusted. It's worth it.

Stuff by Melissa

2011-12-12T10:53:00.001-07:00

Have I mentioned lately how much I adore Melissa Singleton?

Well, I do. A lot. Not just anyone is cool enough to gift a light-up leg lamp (A Christmas Story) ornament to me! And just when I thought she couldn't possibly get any cooler, I got in her car and saw a gaggle of these little darlings:

I know, right?!

She made them! I probably gushed a little over-the-top and she probably just gave me one of each to shut me up, but I'm going to hypothesize that she probably just loves me a whole ton too. I've been wearing my red one on my coat for four days now and I've already had at least a dozen people ask about my adorable flower. She's even smart enough to include a clip so that you can wear them in your hair.

If you'd like to buy one of her creations, I'd highly encourage you to do so here. You won't regret it. Really, her Etsy shop is here. Go.

Thank you, Melissa!

It's a Marshmallow World

2011-12-11T06:47:00.000-07:00

I have rather miniature ears to go along with my miniature head and miniature everything else. Back in the day, I was rather distraught about highly uncomfortable earbuds and always ended up with the kind of headphones that hook over your ear and cause bouncy troubles while running.

Upon complaining to my friend in a random gym encounter, he said, "I love Marshmallows, you should give 'em a try!" Naturally, my first thought was of someone stuffing actual marshmallows in their ears and I knew that couldn't be right. He told me where to find some and on my shopping list they went.

I've been in love with their "form to your ear" foam from the get-go. In fact, I snatch some up whenever I see them on sale. I'm not quite a germaphobe, but something that resides in your ear can only last so long.

I know this is entirely new information (yeah, right), but I go to the gym every day. Do you know the kind of nastiness this brings upon unsuspecting earbuds? (Please say this like Chandler from Friends and it sounds much cooler) Frequent replacement is a requirement in my book.

Recently, I gleefully opened up my most recent shipment of a 1/2 off pair and went to stash them in the waiting area. But wait...what was this? The waiting area was already occupied by three other pairs. Oops!

Five: Number of Performances I've Neglected to Review

2011-12-09T15:36:00.001-07:00

Have I mentioned I've been busy? Oh, I have? Well, I'll say it again - I've been busy!

Plug for my ginormous (guest list over 40!) "5th Annual A Christmas Story Pajama Party" tomorrow night (Saturday December 10) at Jacob's! (it was at Dallas's but due to an emergency situation, we've had to have a change in venue - please send some good vibes out to Dallas and his fam) Ample food and sugar comas for all - text or call if you didn't get the Facebook event invite or evite and want to come.

Back to business. I've seen five shows that I have neglected to review, two of which I promised I'd write about. Thus, I give you my quick thoughts on each of the shows in a very non-review format. Enjoy!

Sleepy Hollow at Centerpoint Legacy Theatre
You probably all remember my long, overdrawn account of auditioning for this show. I am glad to report that it was everything I expected and all of the young ladies who played the parts performed to a much greater caliber than I could have. Have I mentioned I still can't sing to my full extent?
One of my besties, Megan, decided to treat me to this show for my birthday! I love Megan dates!
The well-known classic story is twisted in a way that ads intrigue and more excitement. A few tweaks need to be made, abundant ballads always slow shows down to me, but this is well on it's way to being a Halloween classic all over the nation. I wanted to see the show again, but it was closing week. If you ever get the opportunity to see a production of this, I'd take it.
The part that touched my heart the most was when a mother sang a song about her missing children - I don't think there was a dry eye in the audience (except mine, as my comfort level with crying is sub par).

The Masque of Beauty and the Beast at Salt Lake City's Children's Theatre
My darling Megan performed the role of an evil stepsister in this production, so naturally I saw her twice:-) You may be confused by the mention of a stepsister in Beauty and the Beast. This production is actually based upon the original, non-Disney story and is all in poetic verse and without song. I'd never been to The Children's Theatre before and found the way they stage their shows (audience on three sides) and the animation with which the actors need to perform, quite well-done. Although not as aesthetically stimulating as Disney has brought us to expect from Beauty, there was much charm and talent and the little girls went crazy for it. I finally got to see a darker side of Megan of which I thought the existence was impossible and I couldn't have been more proud of her! She is an actress indeed.

A Christmas Carol at Centerpoint Legacy Theatre
I have to start with the disclaimer that I am not a huge fan of the whole Scrooge story. I know, I know, this makes me entirely uncultured. It's just overdone. I mean, c'mon, there are many other Christmas stories aside from A Christmas Carol and yet the two largest theaters in the Salt Lake area do the show every single year.
That being said, Centerpoint Legacy chooses to perform the more entertaining, less traditional "Madison Square Garden" version of the show - complete with cabaret dancers (hopefully Dickens doesn't role over in his grave). Children and families will love this show. The sets provided a new world to look at - at one point a two-story tall chair rises out of the floor in full decorative glory. Then, the character atop the chair slides down a pole like a fireman - such fun! One or two of the lead characters left some skill to be desired, but I'm guessing there was illness at play with at least one of them. Dave Hill, as Scrooge, has me completely in awe - I will see any show he is a part of any moment any day. The man is phenomenally talented and embodies the character. The cast was almost an entire city's worth of people, with action happening in every corner. Sometimes this made me feel a little chaotic, but overall I feel that audiences will enjoy this show and all the holiday spirit that comes with it.
You can buy tickets here through December 22.

Scrooge at The Empress Theatre
I love Dennis Larsen! He plays the character of Bob Cratchit with such sweetness and sincerity, you cannot help but fall absolutely in love with him. With Tiny Tim upon his shoulders, he sings "Christmas Children" with all the velvet softness for which the crooners of old have set the standard.
His counterpart playing Scrooge is also of noteable talent and earned his part well.
Now, the show itself is a little slow because of too many slow ballads, but the performers themselves do some fine work on that little Empress stage. You'll be humming the tune to "Thank You Very Much" all the way home.
You can still buy tickets here through December 19th here. Do it fast, one night is already sold out.

White Christmas at BYU
My favorite!!!
I loved this show! This performance, in particular, was outstanding without a weak link amongst all the performers.
I saw White Christmas two years ago for the first time on stage on Thanksgiving Day at the Marquis Theater in New York City. What a way to bring in the Christmas season, amiright? As if Santa waving at me at the end of the Macy's Parade wasn't enough.
Last year, I saw this show at Pioneer Theatre in Salt Lake and I fully expected BYU's production to be at the bottom of the White Christmas trifecta. Not so. BYU's production was most definitely better than Pioneer's, save for a few obvious budget differences in sets.
The talent, the costumes, the colors, the warmth, the ambiance, the dancing(!!!) - I just can't rave enough. I wanted to see the show again (and again and again...) I knew they'd extended the run. Sold out. Every performance. It was (closed last night) that good.
I'd tell you my favorite part, but that was pretty much the entire show.

In the next week, I have plans to see Candlelight Christmas at This is the Place, Oliver at the Dicken's Festival, and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert with Jane Seymour and Nathan Gunn.

Lefty

2011-12-09T06:07:00.012-07:00

Have you ever been guilty of doing something, but having no idea what it is, which results in someone else getting hurt or disliking you?

Once upon a time I had a friend and we went on a couple dates. I'm going to refer to him as "Lefty," mainly because of this.

Even after my unfortunate word vomit, the two of us were able to remain cordial - even friends (cause, c'mon, that story is highlarious). But the winter months were cold, I didn't venture out much, and I began to steadily date "Kitty Crack." What I'm getting to is that Lefty and I didn't talk anymore, but I had no perception that any sort of animosity existed, we just kinda drifted our separate ways.

A few months later, I sent a message inquiring as to if he had one of my missing forks because I invested in the good silverware. I sent the same message to anyone who could maybe have wandered off with one of my forks after a well-fed visit. His response? "I don't have your stupid fork." That was it. Ouch! I wasn't accusing him of anything, I was just asking. I felt hurt, like I'd hurt him, and like I'd made some terrible mistake, but I didn't have a clue what it was. I mean, if word vomiting like I had months earlier hadn't made him hate me, I didn't think anything would. He had a movie of mine and I begged a mutual friend pick it up from him because I was scared like unto a puppy dog with her tail between her legs.

I have seen Lefty a few times since this went down over a year ago, in chance encounters. And every time, his countenance visibly drops. I'd go so far as to say that he physically cringes a little at the sight of lil ole Larissa.

I can't stand the thought of people not liking me, let alone being repulsed with me. I try so hard to be kind to everyone and yet one mistake and I'm condemned. I'd say I had a clue what I did, but that happened months before his repulsion began (and was actually more than a little funny). Maybe word got around to him when another mutual friend said he was complaining about not being able to keep a girlfriend and I responded, "Oh geez, I can tell you why he's still single. He'd rather hang out with his buddies than with girls and girls require more attention than that." Yet, that was entirely straight-forward and I don't think, even if repeated back to him, it could be offensive. Could it?

I want to fix this situation, but I just have to let this one go...whatever happened or didn't happen is out of my control. I hate knowing someone out there has this totally false and fabricated perception of who I am. I respect this young man and his incredible talent very much. We never dated (his choice), so I know I didn't break his heart. Maybe my honesty was too harsh? I guess I'll never know...

I learned long ago that the more you try to convince someone you aren't crazy or weird, the more they think you are. I wish it didn't have to be so awkward.

Live and learn. Maybe some day, some how, it'll all turn around in my favor. Meanwhile, I am confused. And embarrassed. Like if you walk around with your zipper down all day and are the last one to know why everyone is laughing.

You are ALL Winners!

2011-12-08T10:05:00.001-07:00

I may or may not have been cornered by two of my lovely blog readers last night and asked, "Hey, so when are you going to announce the winner of your little contest?"

Touche. I seriously have been so busy I, um...ran out of time.

Some of the items in question for the contest have since been returned. You know how when sizes are out of stock in the store so you order online and then it really isn't as cute as you dreamed it would be? And then you realize you spent $500 and probably shouldn't have?

Yep, so there is your answer. I spent $500.

I'm still debating about returning the two dresses I got for $65 each that originally retailed for $250 each. What was that I said? Yep, the two items with an original retail price that totaled just about what I spent were the green and the navy identical dresses from Anthropologie. They are adorable sans cardigan, but with a cardigan? I need someone else's opinion- I can't get the full picture myself.

That perfume you all thought was so expensive? $55 bottle for $15. Go me.

The black and white coat? $120 for $20. I love Tulle brand coats and occassionally tulle.com does these ridiculous blow-outs with free shipping. I'm in love with new coat.

Pink coat got returned - it thunderized my thighs in a way I never thought possible, this coming from a former gymnast. Gotta love when people say, "Ohhh, you used to be a gymnast! That's why you have such thick legs." Um? How is that okay?

The riding boots? Two-for-one! I wasn't fully convinced boots from a place called "Shoe Carnival" would be the party they imply (does anyone else smell popcorn when I say the word "carnival?"), but I love 'em! Super toasty for the toesies and adorable - I get compliments every time I wear 'em.

What does all this rambling nonsense mean?

WINNER: Janell is the closest, actually having said, "$500," but officially guessing under that. She also gets snaps from me (really, I don't snap at people, it just flowed in the sentence as a diversion from the word "props") for identifying Anthropologie items.

WINNERS: The thing is, I want ALL of you who entered - Jeff, Aaron S, GingerStar, Janell, StephanieF, MeganS, Jersey, and JonS - to guest post!

Are you in? Please say yes! I follow all of your blogs because I love your writing. I'd love some of that magic here on Larissaexplainsitall. Maybe then I'd have to change the title to Larissandherfriendsexplainitall?

What do my readers want to read about? Good question! I'm going to go with, "you!" Some things I know for sure they are interested in is: Funny random stories, dating, anything theater, fitness stories/struggles/conquerings, and inspirational stories. You can bounce ideas off of me if you like, but the sky is the limit, folks!

You can e-mail your posts to the address in the "contact me" tab above.

I can't wait!!!

Dreams: Finger Pregnancy

2011-12-07T06:17:00.002-07:00

Two nights ago, I had the most disturbing dream of my life (not involving the devil).

I had a finger pregnancy.

What's this, you ask?

Well, according to my dream, it is when an embryo is implanted into your pinky finger and you carry the baby to term there. You'd be surprised, the baby bump was like unto the size of a mosquito bite bump, yet a full-size baby emerges upon operation.

How do you know you are ready to deliver? Your pinky feels like it is going to bust. In fact, when they come at you with those surgical tools and tell you you can't have anesthesia with finger pregnancies, you are totally fine with that - anything to alleviate the pain. I felt the pressure of the slicing, but no pain at all.

Afterwards, I was so proud and looked at the doc and said, "Okay, doc, time to stitch me up!" Then I had food and watched a movie with my family. Not without, of course, trying to convince my older sister, "But I don't know who the father is, I'm a virgin! I honestly have no idea how this happened!"

My sister let me know the baby was a healthy girl with perfect fingers and toes and I was very excited because the adoptive parents were getting all the perfection they hoped for.

Holy for random.

Glee Style Part 2

2011-12-06T06:17:00.000-07:00

Remember this post?

I still got it. Actually, I got it worse. You see, I fell in love with a certain dress whilst watching an episode of Glee awhile back and upon utilizing my internet sleuthing skills, came to find that Anthropologie was the source of my fashion passion.

Since then, I may or may not have been stalking the online sales. Since then, I may or may not have watched a few more Glee episodes only to find that Dianna Agron's Quinn Fabray and I have astonishingly similar tastes. I've also got a dress in common with Taylor Swift. And my favorite? I caught Zooey Deschanel wearing one of my dresses in the pilot of The New Girl!

Even more my favorite? On Saturday I was with my friend Daniel and he said, "The 1950s are so out."
I replied, "Except for me!"
He said, "Yeah, and Zooey."
Me, "Did you come up with that all on your own?"
Him, "Yeah! You guys have the same style."

Score!

Yep, I have these dresses. Sometimes I question my sense of fashion, however, I have the feeling I'm in good company here.

Unicorn

2011-12-05T13:25:00.000-07:00

Wikipedia tells me, "The unicorn is a legendary animal from European folklore ...it became the most important imaginary animal."

I am here to tell you that unicorns do exist. Not in the traditional mythical fashion, but in the dating world.

What is a dating unicorn? Someone who is everything magical from your first moment meeting. Someone who embodies the things you have dreamt about and have accepted may not really exist.

My whole life I have been told and have lived by the creed, "Be everything you want in someone else." I try my darndest to be the kind of person I would find most attractive and most suitable for an eternity of partnership together. So when someone tells me to not get my hopes up and not expect a lot? No way! I know that I exist, not that I'm the most amazing thing ever or anything - I'm far from, but if I exist, then a man of similar caliber must exist.

And every so often I meet one. Some of them I never go on a date with. Heck, some of them I never even encounter again. But I know they are out there. I appreciate these little reminders to not give up.

Unicorns do exist.

Spacing Issues

2011-12-02T17:11:00.000-07:00

Go enter the contest!

Have you ever worn a winter coat and found yourself running into things because you are not accustomed to the extra bulk?

What about adding another person in bulk? Gets a little tricky, right?

You see, I am used to walking alone. And I am quite small.

When I went to New York last May with Keri and Megan, I'd be walking along, darting through the crowd, not paying attention to anything except moving forward. Then, I'd turn around. No Keri. No Megan. I'd see them 1/2 block behind me trying their darndest not to lose the lil sneak. I apparently bite the big one at accommodating for others' space.

Recently, I found myself walking alongside another individual quite larger than myself and found myself feeling crowded. Before asking said individual why the heck they were invading my space so much, I looked around and realized I wasn't giving them any space. It was me or the items on the shelves in the store. I guess I am nicer to run into.

Anyway, one day, when I have someone who is perma-walking next to me, I hope he is patient with me and my spacing crisis.

Santa Vomit

2011-12-01T18:30:00.004-07:00

Do you all like how it appears that Christmas has vomited all over my blog?

Oh yeah, it's that time of year:-)

BIG HUGE thanks to Melissa Singleton for being the raddest friend of the week. What did she do to deserve these accolades? I mentioned I loved her new blog banner and within 24 hours she had created six (!!!!!!) for me and e-mailed them my way. I opened the e-mail towards the end of a horrendously long and stressful work day and boy was that like opening a box of smiles. Love. that. girl.

Don't forget to go make a guess for the contest on this entry.

Santa and Coke - two of my favorites:-)

Thanksgiving Binge and a Fun Contest

2011-11-30T17:07:00.004-07:00

This is the post where you gasp not once, but twice, and exclaim, "Larissa! How could you?"

My first binge was a full-on attack of everything exceeding a caloric value of more than 500 - for four days straight. Monday I wore this adorable dress that just happens to snap up in the back instead of zip.

Guess whose snaps kept popping open all day? Folks, I do not think this is coincidence (mainly because I have worn the dress a half dozen times and never had this problem).

After my second binge, I immediately called my father to confess my sins. Black Friday and I have never gotten along so well. Then the remorse set it. I thought maybe I should return some items.

But you know what Dad said? "Larissa, you have a good job and you do a good job with saving most of the year. When do you splurge on clothes like this? Once per year? If that? You deserve it! Enjoy!"

To justify this a little, in the past two weeks I have:

Once worn my coat all day at work (not by choice) because my sweater had a hole that huge in the armpit
Found holes in the elbows of two sweaters I was wearing to work
Found a hole on the belly of yet a fourth outfit I was wearing to work
Realized the seams in my favorite (aka most comfortable) pair of work flats are shredding
Ripped three holes in the bum of one of my favorite pairs of pajamas

The grand total? An arm and a leg, but only $12 more than the combined original retail price of just two of these items.

Contest

Can you guess which two items originally almost totaled the sum of the lot? Can you guess the grand total? (I'll give you a clue - the total Retail Value was originally $1600)

First person to correctly guess either of the aforementioned gets to guest blog for Larissa Explains It All! Or, if you don't like writing, I'll write a post all about you!

I present to you, my Black Friday acquisitions:

In Cream

Who You Become

2011-11-29T17:29:00.000-07:00

You become what you surround yourself with. If you are constantly absorbed in video games or shopping or whatever it may be, that becomes more and more important to you while things as small as cleaning or as large as quality time with loved ones become less and less important.

Now let's change that to, "You become who you surround yourself with."

Not only is this an enlightened principle, but you can see the truth verified in people every day.

I watched my little sister, at one point in her life, surround herself with people she was trying to help, people who needed her. She did not need them, but she felt guilty withdrawing the life she knew she provided to them. She is strong, vibrant, full of life and spirit, intelligent, the list goes on. But for a time, she surrounded herself with people who were broken and she gave herself so fully to them that eventually she too was broken.

There is a fine line between reaching out to those in need with unconditional love and showing that same unconditional love towards yourself. Sometimes you have to do what is best for you. Teach a man to fish and if he comes back to you whining about how hungry he is, that is something you have fully equipped him to solve on his own, you are no longer responsible.

So what is best for you? Do you surround yourself with people who are givers or takers? I've had some acquaintances in the past who appear to truly believe friendship is when someone goes out of their way to help me and pay attention to me without me giving any regards to the other individual's needs. If you are not there the precise moment me needs you, you are not a worthy friend.

One of the greatest treasures of friendship is understanding each others' priorities. Sometimes, friends are numero uno. Sometimes, unfortunately, friends are numero far-from-uno. That's just the way the chips fall. Life happens. All of the friendships I have been able to maintain over the test of distance and time? Those are the ones where you stopped mid-conversation ten years ago and pick up right where you left off when you reunite. The ones where you can take Hawaiian vacations stuck in an airport together, not talk for two months, then explode with love for them at the mere mention of anything that reminds you of them. The ones you see once per year at Christmas for three hours and laugh the entire time. The ones who have light sparkling from their eyes and understand our priorities in life have changed, but our love for each other never, ever will. There are no unspoken rules.

I choose to surround myself with those who fill my life with enlightenment, energy, upliftment, spirituality, athleticism, musicality, service, love, laughter, motivation, and reciprocity. I sacrifice for my friends daily because we fill part of each other.

I choose to dedicate myself to being more of that person this holiday season - more of the person people want to be around because I am someone they don't mind emulating. And I will be around them because I sure as heck would like a little of their awesomeness to rub off on me.

Cat Person vs. Dog Person

2011-11-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

I have noticed a common trend out there in the expansive world of the internet.

Dog people are generally accepted. Write about how cute your pup is, post frequent photos, gush over your friendly pooch.

But if you are a cat person? Black mark of crazy be thrust upon you. Generally, it is not okay to post photos frequently or act like the feline is the constant companion she is unless you are married and your husband is an active participant in the kitty cooing.

Why is this?

I found this article on CNN.com, but I'd like to know what all of you think.

Thanks to http://sobadsogood.com/2011/08/28/dog-people-vs-cat-people-infographic/

Jewelry Commercials Make My Blood Boil

2011-11-22T11:06:00.001-07:00

I hate jewelry commercials. With a passion. Probably as passionately as those ladies in the commercials pretend to be idiotic fools who know their man loves them because he buys them a diamond. Really?

Are women that superficial and that easily assuaged?

These commercials have gotten me so embarrassed about the fact that I like shiny accessories every once in awhile, that I won't go anywhere near a jewelry store. In fact, if I walk by that section in a store, I cast quick glances that direction, trying to sneak a peak like you would at a secret crush. I mean, c'mon, who doesn't love some glittery sparkly loveliness?!

But to go all goo-goo ga-ga over a man because he gave me a diamond? Puhlease, all that means is that he's got money. I'd go so far as to say these commercials imply that he doesn't love you if he doesn't waste his hard-earned Benjamins on you. There is so much spoiled, pretentious fuss about it all.

If you prefer the company of diamonds over the company of your man, I suppose this would do.

Don't worry, if you don't treat her right in any way, but buy her diamonds, you'll fool everyone, including her.

This got me thinking about the business mantra, "Don't bring up the problem without proposing a solution."

And this morning I saw one. On the side of a bus, an ad with a rock-looking gemstone saying, "Boys like to throw rocks at girls." Clever. I would like to see more of this. Or the funnies in the image below, which isn't an official ad, but by golly it should be.

Big Girl, You Are Beautiful

2011-11-18T10:07:00.003-07:00

This morning on my date with Gym, a song came on that made me proud of my womanly curves.

Granted, I am not a "big girl" and will wallop anyone who even implies such a thing. However, this particular song almost makes me want to be a big girl. Praise be to Mika.

I've decided that any and all "fat" days (ladies, you know you have 'em) need to have this for their soundtrack and suddenly you will find yourself looking forward to those days.

Happy Friday! Diet Coke and a pizza, please!

(should out to Stephanie for making such a quality video! Yes, that is actually him singing the Mika classic)

Licked Before You Begin

2011-11-16T16:56:00.001-07:00

“I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do." - Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

Closing Time

2011-11-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

Some friends and I were discussing where to go after our next theater outing.

One of them suggested Hatch Family Chocolates (yes, from the TV show "The Little Chocolatiers"). My heart immediately sank in disappointment when I discovered their closing time is 10pm and we may not make it there in time after the show.

Then I realized that my definition of "in time" is "in enough time to have our treats and relax and enjoy them before 10pm." Closing time is the time at which we need to be out.

Yet I know of people whose definition is "as long as I make it there before they lock the door."

Is closing time the last moment the doors are open, or is it the last logical time you can enter and be finished before the doors are locked?

What do you think?

Choices

2011-11-14T14:04:00.009-07:00

My friend was recently reading, Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar, and shared this quote, which applies all too much to my life:

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor... and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.

I think of all of the different directions my life could go with each different decision I make. I clearly see the consequences of each action, yet I sit there. Sure, I've mastered the little things, but the big ones - love and career mostly - those are the decisions that elude me. I need to learn to take action before all those ripe figs whither.

I don't think it is indecisiveness stopping me, I think it is fear. I'm afraid that if I choose one branch instead of the other, that it isn't the most right decision - I know all of them are right decisions. I'm a perfectionist, which can often lead to perfectly impossible expectations. I need to take a leap of faith towards one of those branches, living each day in that moment to progress with and embrace the life I chose.

Sometimes, "I know I made the right decision," is simply making any decision at all.

The cool thing about branches? They continue to branch, leading us to more decisions and more opportunities if we continue to grow instead of sitting there like a literal bump on a log.

I Can See Clearly Now

2011-11-09T10:26:00.000-07:00

Monday evening lead me to an interesting adventure with the optometrist.

I like to consider myself a spendthrift, so I milked my last "year supply" of contacts for two years. Which also meant I did not have an eye exam last year. My prescription hasn't changed from -4.25 in over 14 years, so no biggie, right?

Imagine my surprise when the doctor handed me some new contacts almost an entire point more severe than what I'd been wearing.

The next morning, my eyes decided to reject the silicone in the new lenses, so back in I went for a different pair. The next day, the right eye, in spite of new lenses, is still irritated, so I thought I'd pop in my old prescription until the new contacts arrive. No can do - so blurry. (but I don't wanna be that whiny girl and go back in again for another new lense - ugh)

The point?

I never realized I wasn't seeing clearly until I was.

I think life is like this more often than not. We walk around thinking certain things, like that perhaps we will never be able to run five miles or get that manager position or find the companion of your dreams, and we never question this. These are the facts of life. But then one day, you receive some guidance and your eyes are opened to the possibilities that maybe you can.

What is wrong with the prescription for your life you have written? Are you seeing clearly? Think about it. Now go get your eyes checked and open them wide to the new possibilities.

Forever Plaid : Empress Theatre

2011-11-08T16:36:00.009-07:00

Forever Plaid may just be the most famous Broadway show to never hit Broadway and I had never seen it until this past Friday night. Oldies-style music and singing men are right up my alley, so I figured I'd give it a shot with the Empress Theatre's latest production.

And you know what? That shot was worth taking.

What I have to say won't be as long as normal because I don't think there is much to analyze or critique in a happy-go-lucky-character-development-free performance such as this. For the premise, all you need to know is that there are four singing young men who refer to themselves as "The Plaid's" who are killed in a car accident by some girls on their way to watch the Beatles' debut on the Ed Sullivan Show. One night, the Plaid's are lucky enough to come back to life to finish performing their final show for us so that they may proceed to heaven.

Have you ever longed to be part of one of those cheesy dance scenes from the movies of the 50s and 60s? Miss prom night? Forever Plaid is a parody that evokes exactly that sort of feeling and makes fun of itself, recognizing the absurdity of everything it stands for.

These guys are this loveable, adorable assortment of chumps who amuse themselves, and only themselves, endlessly. No one remembered them or even noticed their deaths. Without this premise, I may have been disappointed in some squeaky notes or in the performance of one of the characters who seemed to be battling with himself as to if he wanted to be performing. But man, as the punster geeks bursting with excitement from ear-to-ear, this whole thing just worked for me. If I hadn't heard a cracked note, an off harmony, or seen a missed doo-wop dance step once in awhile, I would not have believed the whole premise of the show. You cannot help but smile and be-bop in your seat along with these guys as you become infected with their energy. Big, amazing Broadway it is not, but a smile-inducing evening it is.

At one point during the evening, you actually get to sing along with the Plaids and you will not be able to resist. Trust me. I tried. Then the nudges from all my neighbors started and I gave in to the temptation to belt out with the rest of the audience, embracing our inner Plaid. My favorite portion of the evening was probably their rendition of a classic Beatles song. True parody hilariousness.

I must also give props to the staging of the live accompaniment as part of the show - they add charisma and ambiance to the evening that drives home the feeling the director, Nancy Jensen, is trying to convey. Tim Frost, the pianist, has that special something that makes me smile every time I see him on stage.

If you have been thinking about attending this show, you'll enjoy yourself. The length is definitely shorter than any show I've seen this year and may just be the perfect length - it ends juuuust when you are thinking you may have had enough and you end up saying, "Hey, wait a minute - is that it?" You won't find any "bringin' down the house" numbers, but if you enjoy a good stroll down memory lane, this show is right up your alley.

Might I also suggest hitting up El Habanero (8164 W 3500 S) before the show? This local Magna Mexican restaurant will warm your belly with deliciousness, but give yourself at least an hour. Speaking of warm, take a jacket - the Empress is chilly.

You have six more chances to catch the Plaids before they ascent into heaven: November 11, 12, 14, 18, 19 at 7:30pm with a matinee on the 19th at 2:30pm. Buy tickets here.

Sweeney Todd: Midvale Main Street Theatre

2011-11-07T16:15:00.004-07:00

For those of you who are super fans of Sweeney Todd, I want to start out with this:
Buy your tickets now. Here.

Traditionally, I am not a fan of Sweeney Todd - so much so that I passed up the opportunity to see this show on Broadway, starring Michael Cerveris and Patti LuPone. However, Midvale Main Street Theatre's current production had me enthralled from start to finish.

Sweeney Todd, in a nutshell, is a show about a barber who returns to his home town to seek revenge for horrible misgivings thrust upon him. He takes up shop above a destitute bakery, run by Nellie Lovett - a woman who has been infatuated with him for years. Through a twist of events, he and the widow Lovett become accomplices in a murderous meat pie venture, hence the monicker, "The Demon Barber of Fleet Street."

A single spotlight is eerily placed upon a performer dressed sickeningly drab from head to toe. He raises his head, gives the audience a glazed over sneer of a look and let's his voice boom out, "Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd." And so begins a performance that attend you must.

Sweeney Todd, as played by Jim Dale, is incredible. The look Jim carries in his eye is hollow, longing, desperate, the kind of look you see in a man trying to fill a bottomless void in his soul. And his voice - his voice! You will not find many like this in community theater, especially not for the price of these tickets. Jim's tone is one of those that resonates deep into your chest, which made his performance all the more piercing for me, as I could feel everything he conveyed through the music.

Eve Speer as Mrs. Lovett will have you in stitches the entire evening. I often found myself wondering, "How can I love a woman who is cooking people into meat pies?" But you love her and look forward to every moment she is on stage. With such a dark premise, her character and Speer's interpretation of the character are welcome and much-needed relief. Speer was previously seen as Sylvia in Midvale Main Street's production of All Shook Up, and she was fantastic, but her performance in Sweeney Todd is exponentially everything more, being the pinnacle of a showcase for her talents.

Thanks to Kathryn Smith, as Tobias Ragg, the song, "Pirelli's Miracle Elixir," has been constantly looping through my brain for two days now. Kathryn, I heard rumor, is a 19-year old young lady perfectly playing the part of a 12-year old boy. You have to see her to believe it. Her energy, speed, preciseness, naivete, and movements are spot on for this character. You actually sit in the audience and wonder how such a small venue was lucky enough to find such a true fit for the role.

The last stand-out performer I will mention is Russ McBride, as Judge Turpin. Blair Howell, for the Deseret News, stated, "The production is at its zenith when Todd duets with his nemesis, Judge Turpin (a splendid Russ McBride), in a nice-sounding, well-performed 'Pretty Women.'” I couldn't agree more. The melody was haunting as Turpin pleasantly, playfully hums. Each cheery note is haunting as the audience realizes what is about to happen. McBride captures the essence of Judge Turpin as a schmoozing political figure - at once captivating to an adoring public, whilst a terror behind closed doors.

Typically you will see over-the-top costuming and bizarre set pieces in productions of Sweeney. Midvale took a different twist with the design of costuming, make-up, and set pieces as realistically drab, which I loved (with the exception of a truly hideous, utterly entirely distracting blonde wig on what is supposed to be the most beautiful character in the show). This more realistic approach feeds into the urban legend that this tale is based upon actual events - you believe something like this could actually have happened. At least for the duration of the show, you find yourself believing, almost hoping it did because it makes you that much more terrified.

Rotating set pieces are often a treasure left on the stages of the more professional venues, but I was delighted with what this production shares with us. Scene transitions were practically flawless, as the set rotated to the next location instead of black outs and characters carrying on and off clunky set pieces. The real treat happens when Todd gets a little more creative about his disposal of his victims (go see the show to find out).

Lest you feel bamboozled if you see the show and you do see an error, I will let you know that mistakes do happen. A few of the high soprano notes are not reached although attempted, a few of the male soloists squeak, one of the performers has a microphone that doesn't like him, one of the performers has some issues with deciding whether to look at the scene partner or the audience, one character needs to enunciate her words more, and there are your general little faux pas here and there. But overall? I did not feel this detracted from the quality of the show. Perhaps I am so lavish with praise because I did not expect to enjoy the show much at all, let alone have the desire to go back and the inability to stop humming the Sondheim tunes. Have I mentioned I don't care for much Sondheim?

Yes, I do tend to sugar-coat my writings about shows - sandwiching the sour pickles in between juicy hamburgers - but this show truly is delicious.

Another fair warning, the show is PG-13 because of violence, a dark theme, and a few four-letter words. If you want a big, bright, spectacle of a family-friendly show, this is not for you one bit, but if you are looking for a unique, diverse theater experience, you can't miss this.

You only have three opportunities remaining to catch Sweeney Todd and, if I were you, I'd take up one of those opportunities.

Tickets are $10 for November 10, 11, and 12 at 7pm at the Midvale Main Street Theatre - 7711 S. Main Street. You can buy tickets online, at the door, or call the box office at 801-566-0596.

Sock Trick

2011-11-07T14:36:00.003-07:00

Have you ever found yourself without a napkin?

I have a trick for you.

I can't believe I'm sharing this...

Whenever I am sans napkin and I have a gooey situation upon my fingertips, I simply reach town and wipe the goop upon my sock. After all, isn't your sock the place most likely to get dirty and be washed after only one use?

Stacy's Pita Chips

2011-11-06T06:09:00.000-07:00

Have you tried pita chips lately?

I swear, they sounded healthy, so I tried several brands and gave up because they were all no bueno.

Stacy's Pita Chips then entered my life on a date when desperation hit me. And I LOVE them. Add some cilantro jalapeno hummus or Laughing Cow and I'm in heaven. Seriously. They have cinnamon, parmesan garlic, multi-grain, veggie medley and simply naked. Wouldn't you suspect that my favorite is the simply naked? Cause it is. Yum yum.

How to Flirt

2011-11-05T06:08:00.001-06:00

I rather dashing fellow was sitting with me and my friend and hair stylist magician, Leah, while we were discussing my next hair appointment.

"Leah, I really need my hairs fixed. When can we find time in your crazy schedule to fix them?"

Dashing young fellow, after inquisitively looking at my hair with a tilted head, genuinely asks, "What is there to fix?"

That's how it's done, fellas. That's how it's done.

You Screwed Up

2011-11-04T06:07:00.002-06:00

Let's say you organize an event, but are unable to attend. Afterwards you hear only this: "I wanted to let you know that the drinks were warm and the entertainment arrived five minutes late."

My personality type hears, "You screwed up." After all, nothing else was mentioned. The only things worth mentioning at all were the bad things? Oh crap, I must have really screwed it up.

The personality type who says that may actually be thinking simply, "Hey, FYI." No padding. Straight fact. No, "It went great but we may want to check this out in the future..."

I don't understand this type of communication because I think most people would also throw in the good things with the bad things if they wanted to communicate that activity X went fine but here are additional items for the checklist next time. And what would be the point of communicating only the bad unless you were trying to let the person know they screwed up? I don't get it...

Blue

2011-11-03T06:15:00.001-06:00

Darn the group Eiffel 65 for ruining the word "blue" for me forever and ever.

I can not hear that word without automatically (and sometimes outloud) jammin', "I'm blue dah bah dee dah bah die Dah bah dee day bah die dah bah dee day bah dee dah bah die."

Eiffel forever took away my right to compliment someone's shirt without busting into song!

If I Make You Cry

2011-11-02T06:07:00.000-06:00

There are certain personalities in this world that I do not comprehend.

There are those who make you cry* and then respond, "Oh no! I'm so sorry! What did I do? How can I make it better? How can we prevent this from happening in the future?"

Then there are those who make you cry* and respond, "It really hurts my feelings that you react that way. You know I didn't mean anything by it."

You all can guess which personality type it is that I do not understand. I'll even go so far as to say that the second type mentioned is selfish and inconsiderate. Yeah, I judged. But if I cry in your presence and you don't even care enough about me to care about anything except that it makes you feel uncomfortable, well, let me be the first to excuse myself from your company and avoid you in the future at all costs.

For the record, I am not a crier, but sometimes life dishes up too much to handle and I have a good, cleansing, salt-water bath for my eyes and soul.

*I recognize no one makes you cry, but they can be an influence towards tears. But who wants to say "influence towards tears" instead of "makes you cry?"

Halloween Costume(s) 2011

2011-11-01T10:17:00.003-06:00

I know you've all been waiting with baited breath to see what kind of absurdity I came up with for Halloween celebrations this year.

I started with a repeat from last year to fit in with my department at the office.

Now to find five Mickey's...

And now for the real spectacle.

I wore not one, not two, but three costumes all at the same time and randomly had costume changes throughout the evening for all five parties I attended.

I present to you...

*Drum Roll Please*

...Show Choir girl extraordinaire!

First: Green Chiffon
Second: Pink Sequins, also known as Pink Elephant (I don't have photos of this one, but I think Keri does, so I'll post them when she posts)
Third: After a quick spin out of the Pink dress (really, I spin out of it!), the black sequin hottie hot nightclub number.
All accompanied by the Piqua High School Jacket.

Too bad I don't have any photos from the two parties last night, as there were ample creepers and creatures and cuties!

Enjoy!

Dennis as the Mad Hatter

Melissa as Roxy Richter from Scott Pilgrim

Chris as a cowboy and Mr. Darcy in the background

Jodi as a Ladybug and Tiffany as Cat Woman - they are animals! And Roxy in the background

BJ as a tourist

Jon as the Goblin King from Labrynth

Side note: It is really super duper awesome when you can fit into your high school show choir dresses all layered on top of each other and not one of them is tight. In fact, they were all quite loose. The problem? They may have been the most loose (by a good three inches) in the chest area. Ah well, you win some, you lose some (literally).

Thin Skinned

2011-10-31T14:14:00.004-06:00

I was somewhat recently told by someone (this man is old enough to be my father) who knows nothing more about me than my name, that I regularly attend church, and that a colleague of his hurt my feelings once at church to the point of tears, that I am too thin-skinned. Prior to this accusation, I had spoken to this man one-on-one once for about three minutes when aforementioned situation occurred. Yes, the words, "You need to quit reacting this way. You are too thin-skinned," were actually used. Yes, I stood there and took it with a smile on my face the entire time.

Um? Isn't this comment an exclusive right of those who know you extremely well? Wouldn't this greatly upset someone who is thin-skinned?

They went on to tell me that I need to quit being so thin-skinned so that I can get married before I am 31. Too bad I'm already 31. I guess the hopes are dashed of getting this crazy girl married off before she is too crazy to marry.

I have to laugh (after I finish being completely irritated). This individual only has my best interests at heart, right?

Halloween Costumes

2011-10-28T11:57:00.002-06:00

Time for another confession.

I am not good at Halloween costumes. Like, at all.

Regardless, over the past few years I've had some interesting ones. What does this year hold in store? I'll leave you guessing for now...

Punk Rock Chick? Not sure...

Energizer Bunny

Happy Hands Club from Napoleon Dynamite

Super Clayton and Happy Hands

Hippie Chick and Carmen Miranda

Conor the Devil Cat - for the record, my sister did this to her

Ralphie the Pink Nightmare from A Christmas Story

Minnie Mouse and Nacho Libre in his recreational clothes

Salsa Dancing

2011-10-27T06:17:00.004-06:00

Have you ever watched people spinning and dancing all over the floor, shaking what their momma's gave 'em, and thought, "Man, that would be fun!"

I do. All the time. In fact, I also think, "Psh...I could do that." And what better to help me with my stage-withdrawal than to take dance lessons?

So, when Dennis, he of many, many belly laugh inductions, suggested I take six weeks of Salsa lessons with him at Ballroom Utah, how could I refuse? Really, why would I refuse?

I've had a blast the past six weeks. Sometimes we haven't paid as much attention as we should, as we are often the annoying giggly duo in the background. You know, the ones the teachers always ask, "Did you get it?"

What will I miss about Salsa class?

Learning a new dance. I love to dance! I love learning new things. Maybe someday I'll have a beau I can dance with - you never know.
Dancing with good leaders. Dennis is very good at stopping me after the spins -he's the best spinner stopper man. Jeff with the beard is probably the best leader in my group with the best tempo. And I am becoming so much better at learning to follow a lead. I've always struggled with following a man's lead, as I've been paired with some not-so-stellar dancers since the time I was 16 and have had to learn to lead them. This has been a good experience for me.
Laughing at all the people trying to hit on each other or check each other out. Really?!
Chatting with Dennis after class. Man, I've needed those laughs. And the upliftment. Few people in life just "get you," and he does.

There are a few things, however, I am looking forward to leaving behind.

Mister "I am man." This particular Indian fellow was doing a particular move wrong. I, after being confused by his lead, suggested, "I thought the outside turn was a turn to the outside?" He replied, "I am the man. I will decide which direction you turn and I want you to turn this way. I am the man. You follow me." Hmm...ok. Never-you-mind that your partner will get confused because the particular lead you are doing is the lead for another type of turn. I tried to open my mouth to just ask him a question, but he kept repeating to me his nonsense about how the man is in charge, very sternly. So, I pulled the old smile and nod. Wouldn't it figure that the next time I had to dance with him, he was doing it the way I was trying to help him? Geez.
Mister, "Old Sleeveless Shirt." This guy is so sweet, truly. But he swings his arms back and forth while dancing, which makes his leads almost impossible to follow through with with confidence and he is always trying to tell me what to do because he thinks he's super good. I'm fine with being bossed if the man is better, but... And did I mention those arms aren't wearing anything? Yep, he wears those old t-shirts with the sleeves cut off. He is quite fit, but also well into the territory where he is old enough to be my father. Put some clothes on. And quit flirting with your daughter's friends. Creepy.
Miss, "Whole Body Laugh." WBL is a big girl in all regards. She is clearly coming to salsa classes to find herself a man, not to find herself some dance skills, finding it more entertaining and flirt-conducive to not be able to do the dance moves. She does this whole body laugh with every new dance partner she has and may or may not have even sent her friend over to my friend to get his number...that was entertainment. He's in an exclusive relationship, which the two gals were baffled by because who would he be dating if not his dance partner whom they knew he wasn't dating? Hilarious. Now they act all over-the-top awkward.
9pm start time. Maybe I'm getting old, but I'd enjoy it more, have more energy, and be able to make other plans for the evening if class started at 7.

If any of my man friends ever want to take a ballroom class, I'm in!

It's Bound to Happen...

2011-10-25T17:27:00.002-06:00

We all have romantical interludes in our lives that have passed for one reason or another.

We all know, when those relationships end, we will both end up dating and marrying not each other.

Why then do I become giddy with joy and simultaneously want to vomit when I see a former flame flirting with a beautiful, sparkling date of his whose eyes clearly adore him? How can that make me so satisfied and synchronously so sick? As super refreshing as it is knowing we are both happy in our pursuits not with each other, I just don't want to witness the ritual. I'm guessing the main reason, although selfish, for the blow to the gut is seeing solid evidence you are no longer the most important person in that individual's life.

When you have chosen, and genuinely desire, to remain friends, seeing each other date is inevitable and that first splash of cold water in the face is the worst.

I am grateful for my opportunities in relationships. I am grateful for the control they have over our internal organs from butterflies to bleeding. Not to sound cliche, but it really is tasting the bitter that makes us recognize the sweet. I am grateful for second and third and fourth chances for happiness and that the men I've dated are quality enough to want that happiness for me as much as I want it for them.

That doesn't make the whole process any easier.

Pumpkin Decorating Star Wars Style

2011-10-24T19:35:00.003-06:00

No pumpkin will ever beat this. Ever.

Well...maybe an Ewok. But seriously, how cool is this?!

I challenge you to find a better pumpkin and post it to your blog. Triple Dog Dare ya.

Update 10/25: This just in. Wow. Love it. Thanks, Quinn!

Newsies Sing-Along

2011-10-24T14:14:00.001-06:00

"Open the gates and seize the day."

Remember that time when five grown adults heard these magical words and let the spell fall upon them of spontaneously breaking into a full, robust musical number?

I do.

You know who you are. Am I guilty? Puhlease, as if I ever had the willpower to refrain from a Newsies sing-along. You know you're jealous.

I Used to be Skinny...

2011-10-17T06:00:00.002-06:00

I have recently observed a strange predicament - one I've been surrounded by my entire life and only just now have my eyes been opened to the pain behind so many conversations.

A group of females gathers around to chat - young, old, in between, doesn't matter. Somehow, weight and dieting come up. (For the record, I now always try to veer these conversations away from weight/diet and towards fitness/health) Topics regarding all things that can smash one's self-esteem always seem to come up don't they?

More often than not, one of the more overweight of the group will bring up how they used to be a dancer, a ballerina, a swimmer, a cheerleader. As if telling us they used to be skinny will change their current state. As if the self-loathing they feel for "letting themselves slip" will go away because once upon a time they were "better."

I asked my co-worker about this phenomenon. She said, "You know, it's true. If you were ever less (weight), you always seem to refer back to that time."

Does this scenario sound familiar?

The sad thing is that their comments and self-depreciating behavior lends itself towards those listening examining their frame and evaluating how far from "skinny" they have or have not fallen. Do they not even realize they are inviting people to criticize them?

Referring back to where you "used to be" at some pubescent high school age is beyond an unrealistic expectation. You weren't "better" then, you weren't fully grown! Geez Louise, we need need to cut ourselves some slack. Does growing up and gaining gorgeous womanly curves and maybe having children make us less of a person? What kind of a sick world is that?!

One friend recently said, "I hate telling people I used to be a cheerleader because that was fifty pounds ago. It's embarrassing. I know what they are thinking when I say that."

I brought up my thoughts on this with two former roommates at dinner last week (love you Cass and Andi!). One of them is a counselor of sorts and shared with us that there is a complex often referred to as "living in the past" in which the subject fondly remembers what she feels is the height of her life and uses that as a frame of reference for everything else, prohibiting her from progressing and moving forward. Is all of this talk about "better" days keeping these women from changing and progressing towards even better ones now? I wonder.

Don't sit back and marvel at how you "used to be" while simultaneously insulting the amazing person you are today. Who cares you were a prima ballerina in high school? I care right now that you are a teacher or a coach or the best darned cook I know or an amazing socialite or a service-giver or that person who makes everyone around them feel loved. I bet you were almost none of those things in high school.

My life changed completely when I moved to Salt Lake into my own condo. I quit comparing myself to other women every single day. I discovered what made me truly radiate with joy regardless of outside influences. And you know what? People notice that. They notice that more than they do your jean size.

Fitness and health is very important to me, you all know that. You all know where I've come from. You all know I've still got some fluffier curves to me. But I'm healthy. And I'm happy. I 1,000% believe that happiness is integral to healthiness and one will lend itself to the other.

I used to be in show choir. I used to be on a nationally ranked baton team. I used to be a regional champion YMCA gymnast.

Now, I am a best friend. I am someone who has the discipline to accomplish anything I commit myself to. I am a college graduate. I am a former resident of Manhattan. I am a hostess with the mostess. I make cookies that will knock your taste buds from here to kingdom come. I am a daily fitness routine partaker. I am the adopted mommy of a precious rescue kitty. I am a traveler. I am a tour guide. I am a dedicated, innovative employee managing a product I am proud of. I am an ultimate frisbee player. I am an actress. I am a star. I am a supporter. I am a singer. I am a salsa-class participant. I am a tap-dancer. I am a daughter and a sister. I am a symbol of hope to some. I try to be a symbol of love to all. I am devoted to my Heavenly Father. I can even still twirl my baton and do back-handsprings. And I am more beautiful than I have ever been.

Tell me, friends. Does it matter that you "used to be skinny?" Maybe those were your glory days, but instead of thinking, "When I was 18, I was the most fit of my life," we can take a huge leap and aim towards, "I am the most fit of my life."

Be healthy (yes, this includes a regular fitness routing and eating regime), be truly happy, be faithful to those things and the rest will fall into place. I, for one, would much rather be complimented with, "You are so fit and happy!" than, "You are so skinny."

Brandon Flowers: I'm a Mormon

2011-10-16T06:30:00.003-06:00

I'd also like to think that most of you are familiar with my faith and the beliefs of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Recently, they have been filming short videos about people from your every-day-Joe to high-profile public figures, and they all have one thing in common: they are Mormons. I like to call this the "I'm a Mormon Campaign."

Most of you are familiar with the music group The Killers and their lead singer Brandon Flowers. Did you know he is LDS? He even has a son, Ammon, named after a Book of Mormon prophet. I have long heard rumor of his heritage and wondered how a "rock star" could stay strong and faithful through fame and fortune. People who overcome trials absolutely touch my heart. Let him tell you his story in his own words in the video below.

Lord of the Rings Pez Dispensers

2011-10-15T06:30:00.000-06:00

Last week I journeyed to the local Holiday station for a little beverage refreshment. Nothing like a mid-day Diet DP from the fountain, freshly adorning the "good ice." Yeah, you know the ice I'm talking about!

Anyway. As I was walking to the register, something caught my eye. And boy oh boy was it a beaut. I had to share it.

Would you spend your $20 on collectible Lord of the Rings pez dispensers? Too hilarious.

Cold Feet

2011-10-14T06:30:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I get so cold that I have to soak my feet in hot water before bed.
Sometimes I am also hungry and a wee bit thirsty.
I looked in the mirrors surrounding me as I was doing this after Salsa lessons last Wednesday and found the view rather hilarious, so I thought I'd share it with you.
Carry on.

Naming Your Car and other such Nonsense

2011-10-13T06:30:00.001-06:00

My car's name is "Poopers." What's yours?

Back in February of 2000, I took a trip to Las Vegas with my roommates Katie and Wendy. We were cruising down the strip, probably jamming out to Bon Jovi, and happened upon a luxury car with the license plate, "Poopers." We all thought this was entirely too hilarious and my car has since been known by aforementioned name. I wonder if Wendy and Katie even remember? I still haven't figured out if "Poopers" is a girl or a boy...

How did your car get it's name? Male or female? Do you think naming cars is nonsense? I do, but gave into peer pressure...

I Love Little Caesar's

2011-10-12T06:30:00.001-06:00

I feel I have confessed a grievous sin this day. And I don't care what anyone thinks of me right now. I love Little Caesar's! I love the $5 pizza. I love that bread that makes us crazy. I love that it is hot'n'ready. I love when some of the cheese flows over onto the crust and I have cheese-crust to put that finishing touch of perfection on my meal.

I LOVE LITTLE CAESAR'S! And I don't care who knows it!

Spanish Swype

2011-10-11T07:45:00.004-06:00

Some clever person thinks they are sooooo funny.

Apparently I leave my phone unattended all too often and provide ample opportunities for someone to nab it and switch my swype predict settings to Spanish.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Good one;-) Whoever you are.

Dreams: Gremlins and Tornadoes

2011-10-11T06:30:00.002-06:00

A tornado touched down in a field slightly outside of the "old Kroger's" in my hometown of Piqua, Ohio.

What kind of damage did the tornado bring? Gremlins. The tornado delivered gremlins. Yes, those little green creepy critters. And I spent the entire rest of the dream trying to protect myself and my family from the tornado gremlins.

I've been petrified of these little guys as long as I can remember, yet I love watching those movies. I used to think that gremlins would reach through the slots in open-staircases and grab my ankles with their bony, clawed fingers.

But in my dream, they just destroyed the grocery store, particularly enjoying destroying milk jugs and other items in the refrigerator/freezer section. My ankles are safe.

Sharktopus Converts

2011-10-10T10:13:00.002-06:00

Last night, I had a mission and invited over a dozen friends with one goal in mind - to convert people over to the love of cheesy shark movies. If Shark Night 3-D on my birthday didn't do it, I know Sharktopus sealed the deal.

For this special occasion, I am re-posting my original Sharktopus experience.

Enjoy!

March 16, 2011
My lil sis and I have this thing for shark movies - cheesy shark movies, in particular.

She called me the week before I went home in an excited frenzy with a request for a date with me and Sharktopus. How could I refuse? Why would I refuse?

Saturday evening rolled around and my sis, her almost-fiancee, and my 'rents all settled in for a movie together. She let Dad pick and, much to our surprise, he selected "Sharktopus."

Sharktopus, or S11, is under the control of an electronic collar. Oh no! The electronic collar got knocked off by a speed boat. He's on the rampage! He walks on land! He can climb! This is probably the best cheesy shark movie ever.

My mom, in her very observant state, blurted out in the middle of the movie, "Boy, he sure does eat a lot!" As a good cheesy shark movie must have a high body-count, "Sharktopus" delivered. Mom couldn't figure out why he was so hungry and suggested we rewind the movie to keep better track of the "meals." Hilarious.

Even more hilarious? During one of our moments of exclamation/mocking/amusement, we were all apparently pretty loud. Dad explodes, "SHHH! GIRLS! Quit talking! We can't hear what's going on!" Before we could compose ourselves, he picked up the remote and pressed "Rewind," at which point we did all we could to keep from absolutely erupting with laughter.

Really, Dad? "Sharktopus?" We had no idea he was that into the movie. We teased him about it the next day and we started laughing with him and he said, "Well, if I was going to spend time to watch that movie, I at least wanted to know what was going on!"

We also teased Brit's beau, Matt, because he was the only one who hadn't promptly cracked up at Dad's, umm..."interest" in "Sharktopus." He said, "I knew you guys were laughing, but I'm not getting myself in trouble! I sat there saying in my head, 'I'm not going to laugh, I'm not going to laugh.'" He's totally in with the future in-laws. And me.

If you need a good laugh, "Sharktopus" with the Villers' clan will never disappoint. Dig it.

Parade - Spotlight Theater Company at Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center

2011-10-07T12:10:00.016-06:00

Spotlight Theater Company is currently presenting the Utah premiere of Parade: The Broadway Musical in the Leona Wagner Black Box Theater at Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center in downtown Salt Lake City.

Many of you are probably not too familiar with the plot of this 1998 Jason Robert Brown piece. The show begins with a young soldier and his girlfriend enjoying a picnic before he heads off to fight the civil war. We re-enter the show 50 years later on the day of the Confederate Memorial Day Parade in 1913. Little 13-year old Mary Phagan talks with her friends about attending a movie show later that evening after she picks up her pay from the pencil factory. Unfortunately, that was the last her friends saw of her until her body was discovered in the basement of the factory. Leo Frank, the Jewish, Brooklyn-native superintendent of the factory, was the last to see Mary alive. Georgia's solicitor general, Hugh Dorsey, rallied dozens of testimonies to "prove" Frank the murderer and Frank was sentenced to death. Upon being approached by Frank's wife Lucille, Governor of Georgia Frank Slaton, reopened the case because the evidence and testimonies did not stack up. Leo's death sentence was altered to life in prison as the case was reviewed, he was moved to another prison, and in all likelihood he would have been pardoned. On August 17, 1915, a mob of 25 men raided his prison cell and hung him from a tree in Mary Phagan's home town. Some believe that this group of Hugh Dorsey supporters, known as the Knights of Mary Phagan, eventually gave rise to the re-birth of the KKK.

Jason Robert Brown is some tough composition - entrances in the middle of musical vamps, intricate harmonies, tempo craziness, you theater people out there know what I'm talking about. Of course there were harmonic blunders and hesitancies on some choral entrances and tempos. Impressively, the soloists all found their entrances without a hitch...either that or the orchestra was as fantastic as I know they were and were so flawlessly following the actors that I didn't notice anything too off. Well played, orchestra!

I must begin with a few items I would like to rave about.

Summer Sloan as Mary Phagan lit up the stage every time she appeared. I adored this breath-of-fresh-air actress and was sorely disappointed her character was killed after only one number for her. She does reappear several times throughout the show in some very cleverly blocked scenes and continues to win the audience over with her vibrance and life.

Scott Cluff shared with the audience the pain and emotional turmoil of Leo Frank. At the beginning of the show, you find yourself watching the every-man we all know - married, getting ready to start a family, working for the man, and seemingly struggling with something internally. After Mary's death, we see him close off emotionally to his adoring wife, act suspicious, and, well, you really just don't care for him much. We are not shown the events of the day of the murder, yet are lead to believe he did not commit the crime. But something in the way Cluff portrays Leo leaves this nagging thought in the back of your mind, "Did he do it?" He does an amazing job in the first act with setting up his character to be suspect and unendearing to give the audience the inquisitiveness we need to become invested in the show. In the second act, Leo warms up to his wife, becomes human, makes us root for him to be found innocent. What a great character arc, Scott Cluff, thank you! And shall I mention his voice? He sings with the crystal clarity of an angel. After his first number, I leaned over to my friend and whispered, "He's GOOoooood." I believe his character's final lines embody Leo Frank and left my heart touched as he shared his belief that God had a hand and a reason in everything and that he has not gone through the past two years to stand and confess a lie at his death - he is innocent.

I cannot write this without mentioning the ability of Adrien Swenson to rip your heart out as Lucille Frank. She is devoted, loving, and dedicated even when Leo talks to her as no wife should be. We first see her as a Southern Belle, with an ideal life and a husband to support her. Throughout the evening, we see Adrien turn Lucille into a strong woman who can run not only her life, but also come to the aid of her husband - ultimately earning him the change of his sentencing. Through Lucille, you are able to better see the changes in Leo. If these two had not had the precise chemistry and nuance they had, the show would not have worked. Adrien's voice is also quite reminiscent of Marin Mazzie's in Ragtime - gorgeous, emotional, raw when necessary, refined when necessary, just absolutely necessary to the show. Bravo!

Hats off also, to the abundance of performers filling the evening in roles big and small. Jen Chapman as the girl who can do anything she wants, Iola Stover, is gorgeous on stage as she portrays the youth, brattiness, and vulnerability of a child caught up in a murder trial. She leads her fellow Factory Girls (Sasha Sloan as Essie, Laurie Carlson as Monteen) in what I see as a 1913 version of "Mean Girls." Brent Sloan as Hugh Dorsey fits the bill with his classic look of the middle-aged, attractive southern lawyer...who turns out to be a snake. Jacob Shamy's Tom Watson is the most stubbornly convicted persecutor of Leo, swaying the mobs with his constant reinforcement of needing to take a stand - "Where will you stand when the flood comes?" The only comic relief I found, and much enjoyed, in this show was the five or six lines shared by Sally Slaton, played by Heidi Smith opposite Nolan Mitchell's beautiful change-of-heart performance as Governor Slaton. The list goes on, the individual characters all performed with passion - Jann LeVitre as Mrs. Phagan, James Naylor as Frankie Epps, Rose Bench as Minnie Mcknight, Rocky Revels and Judge Roan, Jeff Robinson as Luther Rosser, Conor Thompson as Peavy, and the rest of the ensemble.

I did find a few things rather distracting and unfortunate. The orchestra is placed downstage, (the forward portion of the stage) stage left (the left side of the stage from an actor's point of view standing on the stage), which is great placement so as to not be distracting aesthetically. Aurally, however, the performers were drowned out, although this did seem to balance out in the second act. There was also a set-piece used throughout the show, a platform with three sets of stairs, that liked to sing (squeak loudly) along with the performers, and during all of the blackouts, in an almost comical way. At one point, a larger cast member walked across the platform and it split in two. Boy did that about give me a heart attack. One other performer tripped and fell up when the stairs reared on him like a horse. In our audience, we also had these annoying patrons in the back corner who were giggling at the most unfortunate times and making noises the entire first act. Needless to say, they were reported to the usher's at intermission and it stopped. Back to the on-stage antics, there were a couple of performers who were singing out of their range (example - baritone singing tenor) rather well, but then they attempted to hold out some big notes for big times. They shouldn't have. Lastly, and rather nit-picky of me, when Mary Phagan's body is placed on the stage for Leo Frank to identify, the body is placed so far downstage that I would guess at least half the audience could not see her. I know I couldn't and I was in the middle of the fifth row. The show is heavy, the content is extremely difficult. The execution was far from perfect, however the audience leaves feeling all of what Parade intends to convey...I consider this a success. My heart has been touched.

If you can't tell from the plot summary, the evening Parade provides is not one of laughs and light-heartedness. Be prepared for a heavy evening that may leave you enraged. I cannot believe we people used to be so biggoted, so stupid, so asinine, so willing to be led by the Pied Piper. As an audience member, you will be left wondering when to clap because, most often, a performer will have delivered a beautiful ballad or rousing tune but the content leaves you feeling anything and everything except the desire to clap.

Yet clap they did. The cast of Parade earned themselves a standing ovation from over half of the audience.

I left the theater more grateful for my life, for my faith, for my loved ones. If you would like to see Parade, you can still catch them Friday October 7 through Saturday October 15 at 7:30pm (Saturday October 15 Matinee @ 2) in the Leona Wagner Black Box Theater. Buy tickets here.

Offending Nerds

2011-10-07T08:24:00.000-06:00

I can't get enough of this viral photo. It's called, "How to offend multiple groups of nerds at the same time."

Malware Status: CLEAN!

2011-10-06T08:35:00.002-06:00

To all of you who tried to visit my site yesterday and today:
My site is and always has been clean.

I reported to Google that a friend had received a warning upon visiting my site, so they flagged my blog as "blacklisted." I requested a review and they mark pages as "suspicious" if you have a link to any site that has ever been attacked with malware. Naturally, I have a lot of links to a lot of sites: Wikipedia, popular blogs with thousands of followers, Google itself, etc.

This morning I received this notice in my Webmaster Tools: "Status of the latest badware review for this site: A review for this site has finished. The site was found clean. The badware warnings from web search are being removed. Please note that it can take some time for this change to propagate."

Followers, come back! I lost two of you due to this fiasco:-(

Hang tight, my friends! We'll be back to normal within a day or two:-)

Clue: Singles Ward Style

2011-10-05T06:30:00.002-06:00

Clue Live Action + Miss Scarlet + Dozens of singles ages 18-31 = Trouble. With a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pathetic.

Crime: Awkwardness Thrust Upon the Young Single Adults

The Scenario:
I was selected to play the character of Miss Scarlet, the sexy one, for our activity of live action clue. I have to live up to my reputation of somewhat being an actress, so I tried to stay in character. I spoke in a sultry voice, positioned my weight just so, and winked abundantly. Men I have never before seen would throw flirtatious comments my way and even say some things slightly uncomfortable. I couldn't quite figure out why they flirt so much with Miss Scarlet, but not so much with Larissa when we are, indeed, one in the same. Some folks got I was back to being me after the game ended, others didn't.

*Disclaimer* - this is all in good fun. If any of the parties involved read this post, you have to recognize the hilariousness of these situations and the total blog-worthiness of it all. And I totally am not following the rules of Clue - the "clues" below are just hilarious, awkward stories from the evening.

Clue 1
"How much do you weigh?"
"What?! You do not ask a lady her weight. Ever."
"If you don't tell me, I'll guess."
"I honestly don't know, I haven't stepped on the scale for a month." (this is because I am majorly disappointed in my eating habits the past month and don't want to sink into major depression based off of what that blasted needle tells me)
"Oh please, you are a girl. You know. What is it? I'll guess!"
"No, no, that's okay. I'll tell you because if you guess you'll over guess and then I'll be depressed."
*Insert his weight guess here*
"Hey you didn't wait for me to answer! Fine. Last time I stepped on the scale was *insert weight two pounds less than what he guessed*."
"Okay, so how old are you?"

Clue 2
Gentleman moves to put his arm on my shoulder and scores an accidental bum graze.
"Whoa, watch those hands."
"It was an accident! If you were a guy, I'd say I didn't know it stuck out so far."
Awkward laugh and blush.
"Um, but you are a girl, it is supposed to stick out. Guys don't stick out so far."
More awkward laughs.
"...and ghetto booties are totally in now thanks to J-Lo! So you're good!"

Clue 3
Involved in a conversation, the young man abruptly turns and walks towards some food.
I hear the command, "Come here."
Naturally, I cannot believe I've been given an order like a trained dog and follow him to confirm if I had just heard what I thought I heard.
"Did you just say, 'Come here?' Does that really work on people? Like, do people actually respond to that?"
"Well you just did."

Clue 4
Via Facebook Chat
"Okay. Ima go sleepy now. Wanna come? I think I am funny sometimes." (not honestly offering for the young man to have a slumber party with me - I just think the invitation is hilarious and probably shouldn't and should probably stop...oops)
"Ha ha. I need to finish some work and I have a sore throat for no reason today, so best that I not smother ya."
"Wow. Even my pretend invitations get rejected."

Clue 5
Facebook message this morning from a man at the activity who has never spoken to me.
"Would it be alright if I called you sometime to set up a date?"

Mystery Solved: It was Larissa in the church building with the high-heeled shoes.

I had an absolute blast the entire evening. I think I thrive off of awkwardness sometimes. I'm not saying I condone it or enjoy these weird things, but it does give me some inexplicable rush and some seriously spectacular stories.

What is Wrong With Men in Singles Wards?

2011-10-04T06:30:00.030-06:00

Yesterday after opening session of LDS General Conference, I found myself alone in a room with three eligible bachelors. Earlier during breakfast (one young man was in the kitchen with his computer), this great blogarooski came up along with the post, "Singles Ward Hopper: What is Wrong With Women in Singles Wards."

Before I knew what hit me, I hear, "So you wrote about what is wrong with women, what about men? What's wrong with men in singles wards?"

"Ooooh no, I'm not getting myself in that kinda trouble. No way."

They prod some more.

"No way, NO way. That singleswardhopper guy is anonymous for a reason. No."

They prod some more.

I give in.

"Well, you are going to hate me for saying this, but it really is a case-by-case basis."

"We know that! But generally speaking. Generally."

I thought and I thought and my mind kept saying, "Nothing is wrong with them. Not every person is a match for every other person. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them, they just aren't my match."

I finally concluded, "In my experience I encounter a lot of guys who are slackers."

Naturally, this brought about some defensive behavior. Gear down big shifters. I honest-to-goodness don't see one trait that is overwhelmingly negative, that was just the best answer I could come up with when my honest answer didn't fly with them. Truth be told, a lot of women are slackers too. My definition of "slacker?" Behavior that is detrimental to relationships - human, divine, etc.

If you are living with your parents with a good reason like saving for a house or school? Totally acceptable... as long as mom isn't still making your bed for you and serving as your alarm clock.

If you are still in school? Great! As long as you are working towards a goal.

If you are playing video games eight hours a day? Not okay. I can't bring myself to view heavy gaming as anything but slacking and a relationship-time thief, even if you do have a good job. You see, I want my future companion to pay more attention to me than his video games. Call me crazy. And that reason is why I chose "a lot of them are slackers." There is a certain demographic of men, let's call it the 18-25 year old single male, that has a propensity to give in to the temptations of all gadgets electronic and sucking.

If you are stuck in an endless cycle of "What am I doing with my life?" Dissatisfied with where/who you are? Making no motions to change that? Have a "the world is out to get me" attitude? I consider these slacking as well. I have had the pleasure of dating some spectacular men. Truly. I'd say at least half of them were in some phase where they didn't know what they wanted out of life in general, which left them in no position to make decisions about romantic relationships. They all eventually conclude, "I don't know if I want you in my life," and the dating subsides. Of course, I think the real reason is always he's just not that into me, but that's another post.

Back to my original answer. What is wrong with the men in singles wards?

Nothing.

Many YSA males have challenges to overcome, even if as simple as working up the nerve to ask out a young lady or as complicated as battling addiction. Challenges make us stronger and we either break them or they break us. That's what separates the men from the boys. And you know what? Overcoming challenges is hot. So keep at it.

Addendum: Interestingly enough, one day after publishing this, I came across a CNN Article: Why Men are in Trouble.

Worth Suffering For

2011-10-03T17:01:00.000-06:00

"The truth is that everyone's gonna hurt you. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for."
- Bob Marley

What makes the suffering joyful for you?

Where You'd Rather Be

2011-10-02T06:30:00.003-06:00

I stumbled across this phrase last Friday and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind.

So often in life, I become disgruntled with where I am. Maybe it is social life, maybe it is dating life, maybe it is performing or work or living situation or family or or or.

The thing is, in order to make a change, I have to decide where I would rather be before anything is going to happen. I have to take action instead of just sitting back and waiting for life to happen. I have to decide where I would be happiest and get there. My destination isn't going to arrive at me, I need to arrive at my destination.

Trunk Snacks

2011-09-30T06:30:00.002-06:00

Any responsible young lady will keep snacks in the trunk of her car. After all, one never knows when one must provide for a hungry passenger. Or stuff your face. Whichever comes first.

What are my trunk snacks of choice?

I am glad you asked! I enjoy fluorescent orange crackers with the peanut butter in the middle. Not just any fluorescent orange crackers will do, I prefer the Austin brand. In the summer time, the peanut butter melts-ish, so then I go with the snack-sized bags of Stacy's Pita Chips. But mmm mmmm I love me some cheesy peanut butter crackers!

When the Going Gets Tough

2011-09-29T06:30:00.008-06:00

You've all probably noticed that my life often echoes the sentiments of an old Andy Williams ditty, "Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows."

Lately, however, I've been having a bummer of a time keeping my head above water. I know that I will do it and with flying colors. I know that life's roller coasters are what make the ride so much fun. Isn't the uphill swing always just one swoop away?

Truth be told, nothing in particular has happened that is all that bad singularly, but the weight of it all together is pulling me down.

My car has died twice in the past month.
My dryer is on its deathbed, complete with the horrific *thump thump* *thump thump* soundtrack.
My car insurance payment is upon me (I only pay twice a year, so it hurts that much more).
I am trying to go home to my family in Ohio for Christmas and plane tickets are $500.
I am trying to organize a family trip to NYC next year - me and the three couples.
All the fluorescent lights in my master bathroom are officially dead, which means getting ready in the lamp light of my bedroom.
My carpets are dreadful and need cleaned stat.
I may have a problem with my vocal chords which is affecting other areas of my health and need to go to a specialist sooner than later. This also means no shows or singing for me right now, which is torture as I watch so many auditions and castings going on. I am looking forward to seeing all the shows and being a much better friend to my non-show friends.
Let's also not forget the great birthday party cancellation and reinstatement of 2011.

Do you notice an obvious theme here? Money, money, money, and more money down the tubes. I've been so good about saving and this makes me sad to throw it all away.

The not obvious theme? All of these things make me starkly aware of being alone.

I've never had to shop for a new dryer or remove ceiling panels to change eight-foot fluorescent tubes (that I still need to shop for) or take off work/rearrange all my furniture so the carpet cleaners can come or be in charge of a vacation as the 7th wheel with three couples. Possibly facing a sad diagnosis at the doctor? I don't think anyone would want to go through that alone.

Most of these things are exciting - New Dryer! Vacation! Clean! Light! Yet, they all make me wish that I weren't doing them alone (and not paying for them alone would be nice too).

I feel guilty when I ask people for help. I ask, but the guilt is almost as arduous as trying to stack couches by myself. And how many times will someone listen to my sob story before they get sick of me? "I don't have any family within 2,000 miles and I live alone. Boohoohoo. Pity party for me and everyone is invited."

The reality right now, even though I know it will pass, is this: I am lonely. Sometimes I feel incredibly, completely alone even though I know I am not. I think this is why I place entirely too much importance in my friendships - my friends are my family here, they are all I've got. I don't know if they realize this. I don't know if they know that something so simple is everything to me. I don't let on. I'm a strong woman. And I rarely let anyone see weakness. But I need them and everything they do.

To top it all off, I have bitten this one part of my lip accidentally and blood-drawingly hard every single day for about six days running.   I even woke up one morning last week with a big ole fat lip wound.

Six months down the road, I'll be so proud of myself for getting through and will hardly give this ugh time a thought. I do love my life tres tres beacoup and have taken full advantage of every opportunity. Right now is just a wee bit ... difficult.

I'm doing it though! I'll kick these hard times to kingdom come! I can. I will.

Autumn

2011-09-28T06:30:00.021-06:00

You may have noticed the seasonal change to my blog background recently.

The crisp fall air and prematurely darkening evenings are sending me into a tizzy.

I find myself wanting to harvest, bake apple crisp, simmer up Cincinnati-style chili, deliver surprise baked goodies, go for long walks, have scary movie nights, spend late nights laughing with friends, bake breakfast omelettes, bust out the electric blanket, redecorate, take road trips to look at the mountain scenery, and the list goes on.

The thing is, I want more than anything to share these experiences.

Be prepared for a lot of random invites, friends, be prepared.

What are you looking forward to most about this season?

The Great Mousecapade

2011-09-27T13:58:00.001-06:00

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!"

Imagine hearing this exclamation as you are sitting at your desk, minding your own business, working away.

"There's a mouse! Mouse! Mouse!"

Ah ha. So this would be the problem. A mouse. Really, ladies?

I immediately get up to find the poor creature, then get a container to catch him in. Men tried to take over my duty, but not before I grabbed him by the tail as he was escaping under a wall. I stood guard, while they ran to the other side of the wall and actually caught him...ironically, right under my desk. Sneaky thing. Best entertainment in our office all year.

Ain't no mouse getting by this farm girl*. So not scream-worthy. Are you afraid of mice?

*For all concerned parties, the little guy is now happily living in the field next to our building.

Man or Woman

2011-09-27T06:30:00.005-06:00

I went on a date once. Don't be shocked.

We were walking down an enchanting little street in an enchanting little neighborhood when all of that splendor was interrupted by some raucous punk teenagers. You know how it goes.

Then, I hear this: "Is that a man or a woman? DUDE, check it out."

My date was in the midst of a story, so he, luckily, didn't hear a thing or let on. Good thing cause my inner cougar wanted to turn around and pounce the snot outta that kid.

I am, quite clearly, a woman. The only other person around at that time was my date. My sweet, kind date.

I understand people amusing themselves like this, as I'm guilty. Heck, I've even referred to myself as a "mean girl" several times the past few days. But my date. He seemed secure enough in his masculinity, but he was a tender soul and I know that comment would have devastated him. I'm sure some lil blonde chick up in punk teenager's grill would have made the kid all the more amused, so I refrained. But so help me, so help me, no one will talk about my friends like that without a good lecture next time. Hey, I may talk big about pouncing and claws and what-not, but I was a Public Relations graduate after all, I know how to give a sweetheart verbal lashing before they know what hit 'em...and they'd even thank me in the end.

Have any outlandish things happened to you on dates?

Sophia Vergara

2011-09-26T06:30:00.002-06:00

Sophia Vergara ~~may just be~~ is one of the most beautiful women to ever grace this earth.

Last Sunday, I caught a quick few minutes of the Emmy Awards and was quite pleased to see that her red dress is a very similar style to "the dress" I picked out for myself (If I didn't adhere to LDS dress standards).

Check it. Her dress has a sash over the straight neckline then a knot, the dress I'm wearing simply has a knot in the upper right. The main similarity is the flowing material with form fitted bodice and the knot between the hip and thigh on the left side.

I have similar taste to a sexy lady! Yeehaw! (exclamation in honor of the season opener of Modern Family)

*Disclaimer* - Publishing a picture of myself next to Sophia may just be the stupidest thing I've ever done on my blog.

Feed the Ducks

2011-09-25T06:30:00.004-06:00

Sometimes I like to eat breakfast on my balcony.

Sometimes I throw bits of my breakfast to the ducks from my balcony.

And then this happens (picture). Great way to start the day!

Overalls

2011-09-24T17:09:00.003-06:00

Thank you, Smith's on 45th South.

Thank you, man wearing farmer shirt and overalls.

No thank you, phone flash, that went off when I tried to be sneaky and take this photo.

Catnip

2011-09-24T06:30:00.003-06:00

Dare I admit that for my birthday I was gifted a cat toy? More accurately, I guess the tiny tiger was gifted a toy.

I had my bag of loot on the dining table when I left for work. I came home to find the bag overturned and the cat toy, still attached to the cardboard, on the floor several feet away. Looks like Conor loves opening presents more than I do.

She followed me doing her, "I am cute and swooshing my fluffy tail and purring" nonsense the whole time I readied her new gift. I couldn't figure out why she wanted the toy so badly, as she has never acted so attentively interested before. She has also never encountered catnip before.

Within two minutes of handing her her new mouse, the whole thing was drenched in drool. I tried to take a photo, but she simply wouldn't hold still, so you get the below blurries. I couldn't help but wonder, "Is this healthy? Is my cat high?" Alas, I continued laughing and am proud to report that Conor's first catnip encounter was full of entertainment for both of us.

Fermata

2011-09-23T15:05:00.003-06:00

Gift from Gym

2011-09-23T06:30:00.005-06:00

I thought, after all these years together, Gym knew me better than to give me this gift for my birthday.

My birthday is always the day each year I run five miles (43:25 this year) to reassure myself that I'm not getting out-of-shape again. I'm so not a runner, so if I can do that, I can do anything. Gymy dearest, you should know this!

Introduction Anxiety

2011-09-22T06:30:00.003-06:00

Does anyone else out there get anxiety the moment you go to introduce one colleague/friend/acquaintance to another?

Sometimes I feel like defaulting to, "Everyone introduce yourselves!" Cause it never fails that I get to that one person I have known longest and my mind blanks, even if just for a millisecond. In fact, I often preempt others' introduction anxiety by jumping in and introducing myself. Which I know is improper etiquette, but totally cool if I save someone from a heart attack.

Closer Proximity Sweaters

2011-09-21T06:30:00.001-06:00

What is the deal with those people in the gym who jump on a cardio machine six inches away from you on the right even though there are a dozen empty machines in a row to your left? Is there an explanation for this phenomenon? There has to have been some kind of a study or sociological experiment done on this...

Never you mind that. I've got a trick up my sleeve to rid myself of the unwanted close-proximity runner.

Cough.

They linger? Fake cough again every minute or so - sound like you are hacking up something. Sure, it'll take some of your running energy away, but it'll get rid of 'em. Yes, I'm serious. Yes, I've done this - I am not ashamed. Okay, maybe a little, but the entire cardio cinema was empty and crazy talker on the phone lady plops next to me? Oh, Honey, I don't think so!

On a side note, watching the end of Marley and Me while running, if you are a pet lover, is not a good idea.

Yep, this is even my gym!

Birthday Blunders

2011-09-20T06:30:00.004-06:00

Hey, Everyone! I'm one digit richer!

And I have a confession. An embarrassing one.

Yesterday, I cancelled my birthday celebrations for tonight. Don't worry, less than three hours later I reinstated the plans.

You may be wondering, "But, Larissa, what sort of crazies would grip a person's mind and make them do this?"

What luck if you are - I have an answer!

First of all, let me state how awkward it is to throw your own birthday party. "Hey, Everyone! I'm awesome! Come celebrate me! Hosted by me!" Feels strange, right?

Second, of the forty or so invited, only four people responded positively. I began to feel I was merely burdening everyone with yet *another* birthday thing they felt obligated to attend. I can relate, I'm a little burned out with the seven (or is it eight?) birthday parties I've attended in the first eighteen days of the month, but I love my friends and feel incredibly guilty about the ones I miss (sorry, Toni!). I also began to feel unimportant as some of the excuses were trivial. "Oh, yes, walking your chinchilla is more important than me."

Third, I thought back on the past couple of years about what a horrible friend I've been. I had this sinking feeling that I've been such a terrible friend that maybe no one really cares any more. Dumb, I know. I do all I can, and I know my besties know this, but I also let guilt eat away at my conscience. I just used to...I used to be the person whose parties no one would dare miss. I would throw parties so crowded you'd have to crawl over people to get anywhere and you were jammed in like sardines. I'd buy a dozen pizzas and bake dozens of cookies and not a crumb would be remaining. And then I started performing again and gradually they've all fallen to the wayside.

After I cancelled, I received at least a dozen e-mails from people (most from people who can't come) who were determined that I needed to celebrate even though hardly anyone can be there. So, of the handful of people who can show up, doggone it, it'll be the best party ever. Party of five! Or more, perhaps?

A few die-hards have even committed to indulging my stupid shark movie fantasies with a post-party rendezvous to "Shark Night 3-D."

Happy Birthday to me! Maybe this year I'll actually grow up:-)

Mysterious Garlic

2011-09-19T10:10:00.001-06:00

I need Scooby-Doo - a mystery needs to be solved.

For about two years now I will occasionally smell garlic and, upon engaging my magical sniffer powers, I pinpoint the source to my fingers.

Now, I appreciate me some garlic, don't get me wrong, but I don't regularly dip my fingers in vats of it. In fact, if cooking for my lonesome, I avoid the use of garlic altogether (bad experience with a guy I dated overusing it on everything). I thought I had it pinpointed to a certain drawer in my kitchen, but clearly I was wrong.

So where is this smell coming from?! Two years!