My South African Gym Boyfriend

For almost a year now, I've had the pleasure of working out at the same time as a charming fellow who has taken a fancy to me.  My friends know him as "Gym Boyfriend."

I relish my gym time - it is my time to detox, to reflect, to think, to end the stresses of the work day.  I don't prefer to date anyone from the gym because that could possibly taint my refuge.  I haven't really had to worry about too many men at the gym trying to bust a move because, well, there are other ladies who clearly want moves busted, whilst I cover myself more than adequately, actually sweat enough to soak a shirt (Gross, right?), and always have my marshmallows stuffed in my ears.

I've only had two men hit on me at the gym (and one woman...but that's for another time).  Both of them were beefy, muscular, dark chocolate South Africans...in Utah of all places.   

Gym boyfriend asked for my number back in November and, whilst we have talked since then, the follow-through with his request didn't happen until about three weeks ago, at which time he physically handed me his phone (he said I'm hard to pin down - pffffft.  Okay, so maybe I am...) and asked me to enter my number.  So I did.

He texted me twice and called me once that very day (I was busy and couldn't respond).  After a few texts, I decided to give him the heads-up that I'd been dating someone (no longer am) for a few months although we weren't exclusive.  He backed off a little.  Rightfully so.

A few days later, on a Sunday, I get a text asking how my day was.  I responded with all the good vibes of the day and that church had been great.  He made no response about church.  I wondered, "Hmm...I just assume I give off that totally LDS vibe, but maybe, just maybe..."

I texted, "Random question.  Are you LDS?"

"LDS?  What's that?  You are confusing me."

"Mormon."

"No.  Are you?"

"Very much."

"Mormons are good people, but I thought they don't date outside of their faith."

"I did when I was younger, but now I am done dating for fun and only date seriously."

"This is very interesting.  I will call you tomorrow and we will talk about this some more."

I never heard from him again.  I've seen him at the gym twice and he avoids me like the plague.

Upon bemusedly telling the story to a dude friend who is of no religion at all, I asked, "Is he afraid of me now or something?  It's kinda hilarious!"

His response?  "He isn't afraid of you at all.  He's afraid of what he's not going to get from you."

Ah.  Touché.  All those months of staring at my J-Lo booty in tight gym pants...for nothing.

Things to Never Text a Married Man

I present to you an actual textchange I had last week.

"Hey Larissa, this is your director.  I hope the blocking worked better!  Especially with the "grab."  Thanks for your great work!"

"Thank you so much for your msg last night!  I feel so much better about the blocking of the grab and the kiss.  Thank you!"

"All I saw was 'Thank you so much for last night' and hoped my wife didn't read that."

"Lol! I realize how strange that sounded after I wrote it.  Put that on a list of things to never text a married man!"

Today I Love: What I Learned from the Month of Love

The common thread amongst many of my posts is simply that these people make me feel loved, wanted, and needed.

My own family is over 2,000 miles away.  So often, I feel so alone.  No one to help me look for a home, move, look for a car, fix things around the house, help with car troubles, help with Dr.'s appointments, pick something up at the store for you or do laundry when you are so busy you can't see straight, no one to just go get food or watch a movie with...you can tell I've pondered a little too much over this alone business.

While no one can replace family, as they are obligated to love you, I do have the most amazing friend family in the world.  I'm convinced.  I've been accused of "collecting friends."  This may be the case.  But I have learned that as long as I love as much as I can and put that out there, all of that will come back to me ten fold.  And I need all of these people in my life.  My family is always growing, as is my heart. 

I have many, many more drafts of "Today I Love..." ready to publish.  I've decided I'll regularly publish one of these posts so that I make sure to continue letting everyone know just how much they mean to me.  I am going to live my love for all of you:-)

Today I Love Bart

Bart.

I can still picture coming home to Moon House and finding I Will Always Love You playing throughout the house.  Strange.  As I rounded the corner, I noticed the lights were dimmed and the candles were lit.  I moved forward cautiously, knowing that I was on the cusp of some sort of shenanigan.  Bart comes into sight and corners me whilst quoting his famous speech from My Best Friend's Wedding.*  He works the room and milks it for all it's worth until he has me Quarterbacked against the wall.  I can't take it anymore and bust out laughing as I started punching.  Hey, he deserved to be "hit on," right?

Another time, we found all the foosball men on our table were missing.  Later that evening we received an anonymous call to look out our back second-story windows.  What did we find?  All the foosball men had been strung from the roof, dressed as little Phantom's of the Opera, and were dangling in front of our windows.  

And so goes my relationship with Bart.

We once hiked Mount Nebo together - it's a 14,000-footer for those who know hiking.  Put me on a four-foot high balance beam and ask me to flip and I've no problem.  But put me on a 10-foot wide ledge 10,000 feet high and I freeze.  He and Cassie stuck by me every step of the last spine so that I could make it to the top.  Once I got there, the trip down was a breeze.  Well, after I fell, ripped a nice hole in the bum of my pants, and shouted, "They're pink.  Get over it."

Our little mountain hike may be kind of symbolic of our friendship.  Sometimes, when I didn't feel I could go on, Bart stood by me until I could move on my own.  And if I stumbled a little?  He was there to laugh with me.  About six years ago I went through the biggest heartbreak of my life.  Bart was there, even in the midst of law school and law review, he was there.

Ultimate frisbee is one of my biggest passions.  Bart is to blame.  He made certain to give all of us females a "tutorial" at least once per week and organized games for us to practice our new skills.  I still like to think I'd make him so proud every time I play.  He is one of the few men I know who will help a person learn a sport until they become adequate rather then telling them they can't play because they aren't good enough.

When I started getting involved in physical fitness again in 2004, Bart was constantly encouraging me and keeping me on track.  I don't even know if he realizes he was doing this.  Partly because of his inspiration and example, I was able to go from obese to fit.

Whenever I had a rough day or a wonderfully exciting day, we had a code text to go out and celebrate or commiserate.  I loved our outings together.  If ever I had a big brother separated from birth, Bart would be him.  I've actually been acquainted with at least one person in Bart's family since 1998 - that's practically family, right?  Man, I can't even begin to get into all of the hilarious stories and pranks and conversations...

I would not be who I am today if it weren't for Bart.  My life would not have taken the same paths in any way.  All of the things I've been able to do because I'm healthy, all of the friends I have made playing ultimate frisbee, all of the bonding evenings spent planning the next prank...all thanks to Bart.  I love looking back on my friendships and realizing how intricate of a role someone has played in directing my paths.  When I first met this man on the front porch of Pinegar Apartments, I never in a million years would have imagined how he would change me.

Bart, I love you to the moon and back.  A million times over. 

 

 

 

 

*Suddenly, a familiar song. And, you're off your chair in one, exquisite movement... wondering, searching, sniffing the wind like a dapple deer. Has God heard your little prayer? Will Cinderella dance again? And then, suddenly, the crowds part and there he is: sleek, stylish... radiant with charisma. Bizarrely, he's on the telephone. But then, so are you. And then he comes towards you... the moves of a jungle cat. Although you quite correctly sense that he is... gay (Bart always changed this to "not available", as he's as straight as the day is long)... like most devastatingly handsome single men of his age are, you think... what the hell. Life goes on. Maybe there won't be marriage... maybe there won't be sex... but, by God, there'll be dancing.

Today I Love Nichole

Nichole is all smiles!

If you ever want to feel as if the stars are sparkling just for you, go to Nichole. 
I can't quite put my finger on what it is, but you know those people that you meet and you just...you just know you've found a new best bud? 

I met her at a bonfire after closing night of Bye Bye Birdie, but didn't really meet her until auditions for 1940s Radio Hour.  There she was, in the heat of competition with me over a role in the show, and she couldn't have been nicer, more complimentary, or more of a challenge to keep up with!  Luckily, we both ended up with roles in the show and, as a result, permanent roles in each others' lives.

Aside from her glowing happiness and enthusiasm and talent, the trait I look up to her most for is her honesty.  She is.  She doesn't try to hide the bad or the good that has made her who she is.  She doesn't hide when she is feeling sad- she lets you know and does her best to move on.  The thing is, she lets you know in a way that helps your life, in a way that you can learn and grow from her and what has helped her to do the same. 

If you are ever in competition for a role in a show with her, watch out - she's immensely talented and has this natural ability to develop a character and add little quirks that truly bring the show/character to life.  I've never seen her perform a role and thought, "I can do better."  Nope.  Hats off to Nichole! 

And doesn't she look a little like Liv Tyler?  She's gorgeous! 

I look forward to every chance we have to do a girls' night or meet up somewhere.  She makes me feel loved and I hope I return the favor.

I love you, Nichole!

Today I Love Brooke

This past Saturday I had the opportunity to go to a Utah Symphony Frank Sinatra tribute concert with Brooke and man do I love her!

We first began to discover the awesomeness of each other on a trip to San Francisco a couple of years ago.  She soon moved in with Leah and Kristie and the fun really began.

I loved watching her sparkle while she taught Relief Society lessons in church.  I always felt as if she were inspired to say exactly the thing I needed to hear.

That's one of the things I look up to her most for - her ability to be in tune and act on those feelings.  Whenever we are able to have a serious conversation, something comes out that makes me just about want to cry out of gratitude or humility.  You can never doubt your self-worth around her, nor can you question the sentiments she expresses to you because she could not be more sincere.  Her heart-felt words leave you no choice but to stand up and be true to who you are as a daughter of God.  Her loyalty, sacrifices, and concern for those she loves truly encompass who she is.

On top of all of that encompasses the deeper, more fulfilling things in life, Brooke is FUN!  She will never cease to make you laugh and join in on whatever absurdity you are participating.  And she does this crazy babydoll eye thing...it's...well, you just have to see it.

Brooke - I love you!

Today I Love Kristie

Kristie is a doll - that's the first thing that comes to mind.  She's an absolute treasure.

I've known this darling for awhile, but I think we've truly gotten to know each other through stalking each other's blogs! 

She always has something entirely real and inspiring to share.  If she has a bad day?  She shares that sometimes life isn't perfect and what she does to deal with it.  I've discovered some new music through her, inspiring quotes, and always look forward to reading from someone else who geeks out about their pets:-)

I like to think I hold a special place in the heart of Kristie because I may have nudged her hubby her direction.  They would have ended up together regardless, I have this feeling, but ya know...it makes me feel nice that I said, "Hey, you should ask out Kristie!"  Readers, my services are available any time!

Over the summer, she posted on her blog about what her and Karl did every weekend and I have to say I was always quite impressed with what they came up with - even if it was simply cooking a meal together, they did it with so much panache!  She shares entertaining stories about sleep-talking, work, and just general life-related ordeals.

From her soft pink, blemish-free skin to the deepest part of her heart, she is filled with tenderness - I think this is what makes her so easy to love.  Her kindness and gentleness are part of her nature - I don't think she's ever had to sit back and work at being more sympathetic or more understanding - she just is.  I am always excited to see Kristie because she is always excited to see me!  That makes it so easy, doesn't it?  And she'll listen to me go on and on about just about anything and doesn't seem to mind a bit.  Now that is someone worth loving!

Beautiful Kristie, you are a prize - I love you!

San Francisco!

Chili Halloween party at Stringham's in '08.  Me?  Straight from gym.  Kristie?  Too cute.

My birthday party in '09...bad angle for me, but Kristie looks adorable!Annnd...is that Karl right behind us before they even dated?  Precious:-)

Today I Love Leah

Leah Jacobs has changed my life.

I'm serious.

Leah took me under her wing and is one of my biggest advocates.  She is loud and sassy and has a personality as big and bright as the sun. 

Once upon a time, I dated a young man whom she had indicated to me had interest, which piqued my interest and the rest is history.  And then we stopped dating.  And then Leah said, "Hey, Riss, why don't you come audition for Nunsense with me?  I know you love performing and you'd be great as the novice.  Just come.  You've got nothing to lose."

Doesn't heartache always get you to do crazy things you wouldn't otherwise do?  I think that is the only part I like about break-ups - how they break your shell too.

I auditioned.  After not having performed in about nine years, I got the part of the ballerina nun Sister Mary Leo in Nunsense.  Leah earned the part of Sister Robert Anne.  Soon thereafter, we were in another musical together.  Commence practically six months of being together.

Leah also does my hair.  After our performing adventures together, I knew her dream of going to New York City.  I found a killer deal and organized a group of people to go.  She wanted to, but didn't know how she'd find the funds.  Let's just say, she and I worked out a little arrangement where she would give me a certain amount of hair services and I would fund her to come with us.  Best. Arrangement. Ever.

Leah is by far one of the most nurturing people I know.  She is fiercely protective of those she loves, so it is a good thing she loves something about practically everyone.  You know those people that you walk into a room with and then five minutes later you are best friends with everyone in the room?  That's my Leah:-)  There is something about her that makes you feel alright in the world - like everything is going to be okay.  She has come to support me at every show I've been in - after all, she is the reason I got into the theater scene here in Utah - I don't know if I ever would have been strong enough to try without her.

I have many unforgettable memories with Leah.  Several of them stick out to me.  Last year around Valentine's, I was having a bummer of a time.  Leah and Brooke took it upon themselves to take me to Five Guys (cause why have one when you can have five?!), buy me some nail polish, and invite me over for a chick flick.  I also spent New Year's with them that year over a nice assortment of Chinese take out, a movie, and laughter.  I cannot even count the amount of performances and events we have been to together, however, the one that stands out the most to me is Idina Menzel.  Leah may or may not have an obsession with Wicked and Idina is the original star.  I invited her to come to the outdoor concert in Deer Valley with me and at several points, she was so overcome with joy that she was crying.  I love this lady!   Whenever I watch Leah perform, I'm about busting with pride at the seams telling everyone around me, "That's my friend!  That's MY friend!  Isn't she amazing?!"  Seriously folks, saying Leah is talented isn't the half of it.

Leah is never, ever one to hold back her gratitude and love for you.  She will lavish you with praise when you deserve it and slap your behind into gear when you don't.  Of all of these entries, I haven't yet felt that there is no way to describe in words the way I feel about the individual, but, with Leah...I just can't quite manage.  I guess you can say she keeps me speechless...probably because I'm always laughing too hard:-)   

Leah - I love you, I love you, I love you!!!

Leah helping me with my microphone/hair/makeup before a show

This is what I look like when Leah is doing my hair.  So hot, huh?

At Melissa's Karaoke birthday party - see Melissa in the background singing! Yep, I'm definitely not wearing any makeup...

Group Trip to NYC

Nunsense!

Leah love at my birthday '09

Today I Love Mel

"Snitker?  You ain't chocolate!  You white!"
That quote is from one of my favorite stories of Mel's and it happened on her mission.  You'll have to ask her for the full story, as I could never do it justice.

I think Mel gets the award for having the most photos on my blog prior to be written about.  I've been coast-to-coast with Mel - San Fran to NYC!  In just a little while, we are even planning for a girls' trip to Vegas with Megs and Julie.

Thinking of the trip, I better watch my back, as Mel has been known to be involved in the plotting of quite a few pranks.  Before she and Anna were married (not to each other, sillies), I'd often see them running around town and, yes, they were those girls running that all the male passersby were quite happy to see.   One of our friends decided to snatch her up and make her his for eternity - brilliant fellow.  Also brilliant?  That he is friends with most of us from his single days and is all-the-more supportive of her spending time with us because he already likes us:-)

When I think of Mel, two things in particular stand out - her strength and her softness.  She has been through challenges that I don't know if I could stand.  She is much like the ladies of Steel Magnolias in that she faces her trials head-on with fervor, yet that same fervor of tenderness fills her heart.  I really don't think it would be uncommon to see the glisten of a tear in her eye while simultaneously laughing.  I picture having heart-felt conversation with her while walking through the streets of San Francisco and then the next minute she and Julie are jumping up and down twenty times for the perfect photo and we are singing Christmas songs at the top of our lungs.  I'll never forget coming back to the hotel in NYC, soaking wet, and finding my room full of my girls watching a movie.  We'd all been traipsing around town in the freezing, pouring rain.  The warmth I felt as I returned was indescribable. Not just the way they'd pumped up the heat to toast us, but the love and happiness and contentment I felt with all of them that evening...those are the moments all the good stuff in life is made of.  Mel is always honest and truthful, yet knows when discretion is necessary (and when someone is jogging around dressed as Santa in really short shorts is not the time).  On top of everything, man is this gal a hard worker!  She's an example to me of friendship, of perseverance in love, and of dedication to the gospel. 

Mel, I love you!!!

SNOW!

I  have no idea what this was for or where we were, but Kristie uploaded it in February of '09...musta been a blast!  Good thing I didn't have any boogies...  :-)

Megan's wedding!

New York City '10

My birthday party '09

San Francisco '09

Today I Love Chris Kennedy

Chris is the final member to complete my season-tickets-at-the-Capitol trifecta. 

I first met him on the ultimate frisbee field.  Man, does this guy play with no-holds-barred.  Then I found out he was involved in theater and I remember saying to him, "Ooooh....so you are a theater guy."  Boy, was I relieved to find out he doesn't follow the stereotype.  For the record, none of my male theater friends follow the stereotypical overly-self-absorbed and dramatic sterotype:-)

Chris is one of the most dependable, responsible, worthy men you will ever encounter.  This past summer, my sister's friend passed out at my pool and started having convulsions.  I calmed everyone down and gathered them up to the hospital.  Immediately, I called Chris to see if he could come give our friend a priesthood blessing.  Sure enough, with a half an hour, he and his roommate were there.

One day at church a couple of years ago, I was feeling terribly alone and who should come invite me to a steak dinner, but Chris.  I arrived to discover it was me and six dudes.  That'll cheer a girl right up!  I even ended up dating one of those dudes for about four months.  Random, isn't it?

Chris is the first one to jump at a game night until 2am or movie nights or going to get food or playing frisbee.  He's participated in enough activities with me to know the unspoken rule I have that if someone else drives, I'll pay for parking and/or gas (I hate driving downtown).  He knows that if I have food, I'll undoubtedly only eat half and he's welcome to the rest.  He also knows the more important rule that I love food, but don't splurge often, so he doesn't push that.

I tell you these things because Chris is very aware about the details in the lives of a lot of his friends.  He tries to accommodate what makes them who they are and asks nothing in return - not even that you love him back.  He served many men dutifully in his church calling, for which he received no reward, yet he dedicated his life to serving his best.

And, ladies - he's single!  If you want set up, let me know!

Chris,  I love you!

Melissa and I making Chris a very happy man before Young Frankenstein

Halloween '11 - Hello Mr. Darcy in the background (aka Christopher Adam Cloud)

Me and Chris at Les Mis

He played Kim's beau Hugo in Bye Bye Birdie with me

Luke Singleswarder at the Off Broadway in SLC.  That other goofy guy is BJ.  Oh, and a storm trooper.

Jon and Chris and Melissa came over for Cincinnati-style chili and Melissa laughed when she caught us all in this pose...so much that we had to see what the fuss was and, well, it's pretty good:-)

St. George with BJ, Jon, Chris, and Melissa